So life has been pretty hectic for the past 10 days. Took a day off to attend a friend’s wedding which eventually turned out to be quite a hectic and an enjoyable experience. I can see why the director ever thought of coming up with a “hum aapke hain kaun”story line. Marriages are quite fun in their own way.
And then work has been quite involving…and orgamiscally exciting. I never knew I would enjoy marketing, the way I am right now. Am leading the marketing strategy implementation for our client…and its awesome. The thought behind brand development…interacting with agencies…and hearing them share their perspectives on how we should position ourselves. All of it is quite fascinating…and quite new…to me. Am loving it.
However, in this welcomed madness the last thing I wanted was a crappy movie. I guess god was traveling with ear plugs on when I was praying not to get me into that one bad show.
So last night I watched Dhoom 2
Now now…don’t get me wrong. Its slick. Definitely. Slicker than most bollywood stuff I have seen. But for god sake…I mean…gimme a break…what is it…? James Bond magnified?
Frankly I had expected more. The action scenes were just overdone…and OH MY GAWD…with logic taking a long ass leak while those were being shot. Friggin cop jumps off the cliff…when the thief has done so 3 seconds back as well. But hey…thief has parachute…cop just has biceps…! So lo behold…cop jumps…and no…he is not trying to land on the parachute…no no…that too feminine for such a shot…he jst tries to position himself so that he lands right on the back of the thief. And after some hot gay romance…they kiss…and live happily ever after…!!
and some things were like....wtf...!! what is the queen doing in the middle of the desert of namibia....and WITH THE CROWN...??? and entry of abhishekh...toooooo much. the dude emerges from underwater on a sea scooter...wearing leather jackets..!! wuuuhuuuuuuuuuu...!! i can understand why he would do something like this...!! cmon...with all the female fish hittin on him...he cudnt be at his worst...!!
i think he should simply start acting for a change...!! ummm...and shaving as well..!!
My biggest takeaway…hrithik should start wearing a bra..!!
My biggest observation...i think aish can wear the same bra...if u know what i mean...
and does everyone think that the kabul express trailers are quite awesome...????
~a
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
"...we hv to do it..."
so this is a real life incident. happened to me last thrusday on my flight back to india...
every indian on this planet..and every traveler to India as well...can relate to one sight. queues. friggin queues. everywhere..! we indians r so used to jst placing ourselves confortably in a line...and jst live the rest of our lives trying to reach the 'counter'.
so it was one of those queues again...that got me introduced to her. i was boarding the flight...with my boarding pass in hand...(and mind u...even if u hv bloody boarded a plane more times than u have pissed in yur life...the hostess will definitely ask u for your boarding pass and direct you to your seat...as if you are the biggest moron who couldnt have figured by himself..! anyways...)
so there is this huge line leading to the miserly economy class...(reminds me of a seinfeld joke...he was talking abt the way the hostesses draw the curtain between the economy and business class...saying with their eyes..."if only you had worked harder")...and its dragging along...till the time i reach right at the entrance. and its been some 2 minutes at the same....the line is jst not moving.
"oohh...discovery channel..thats my fav"..!
a rather stunning airhostess...(who btw i had conveniently avoided mentioning so far...)...standing at the right side...! her repsonse is to the discovery logo on my tee...which R had given sometime back (quite cool stuff these discovery guys make..!).
"aaaah...thts nice..! infact..we 'at discovery' have a hidden vision. that everyone in this worls feel exacly what you feel"
there were artificial hehe-huhuh laughter...before the line finally moved on..!!
now..if u hvnt figured by now...i said "we at dicovery"..which in the english language means that i lied. about the fact that i work at discovery. now dont get me wrong here...i am quite proud to be a consultant...i think they r the best invention by mankind..after the safety pin ofcourse...! but something within me...made me lie..
and wait..there is more...
so i seat myself...and put the "do not disturb...even if the friggin plane is going down and i dont have my for gods sake seat belt on" tag on my seat...and as i am about to close my eyes...she comes in again...
"hot towels please"
sleep's gone..! am with discovery again...
"so what do you do for discovery"...she asks...while holding the towel for the passenger to me left (i was aisle)...and given who was sitting on tht seat...i am sure he felt it was some sort of hypnotic towel..meant to soothen the body during the flight...cause he jst didnt move his eyes off it.
"ummm...i work as a photographer for them"
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...cold blooded lie...how cud u...!!
"wow...thats awesome...! here in dubai"
"nope..in their delhi office. had come to dubai to cover the desert safari for a brochure we are working on.."
if only my thought process was as fast when needed
"thats quite interesting. please let me know if you need anything. i promise not to disturb you though...even if the friggin plane is going down and i dont have my for gods sake seat belt on
yes yes yes...she reads my mind...i can so totally see it...!! wuuuhuuuuuuu
so...rest of the flight was quite good...slept a decent bit..and each time i woke up..i saw her fanning me with a magazine...smiling sweetly at me as if so totally admiring me..! ok...i am lying here...cmon...u cudnt hv believed me now..!!
but yeah...i didnt see her at all till the flight landed...
at the entrance...she was there...with her..."thnks...bye bye now"...and i went...wtf man...let it go...
"ummm...btw i was lying...! i dont work for discovery. my fiance does. she gave me this tee"
"hahaha..!! u serious...??? well...btw...discovery is not my fav channel either..."
WTF...!!!
"...u see...its our job...we have to do it..."
:)
~a
every indian on this planet..and every traveler to India as well...can relate to one sight. queues. friggin queues. everywhere..! we indians r so used to jst placing ourselves confortably in a line...and jst live the rest of our lives trying to reach the 'counter'.
so it was one of those queues again...that got me introduced to her. i was boarding the flight...with my boarding pass in hand...(and mind u...even if u hv bloody boarded a plane more times than u have pissed in yur life...the hostess will definitely ask u for your boarding pass and direct you to your seat...as if you are the biggest moron who couldnt have figured by himself..! anyways...)
so there is this huge line leading to the miserly economy class...(reminds me of a seinfeld joke...he was talking abt the way the hostesses draw the curtain between the economy and business class...saying with their eyes..."if only you had worked harder")...and its dragging along...till the time i reach right at the entrance. and its been some 2 minutes at the same....the line is jst not moving.
"oohh...discovery channel..thats my fav"..!
a rather stunning airhostess...(who btw i had conveniently avoided mentioning so far...)...standing at the right side...! her repsonse is to the discovery logo on my tee...which R had given sometime back (quite cool stuff these discovery guys make..!).
"aaaah...thts nice..! infact..we 'at discovery' have a hidden vision. that everyone in this worls feel exacly what you feel"
there were artificial hehe-huhuh laughter...before the line finally moved on..!!
now..if u hvnt figured by now...i said "we at dicovery"..which in the english language means that i lied. about the fact that i work at discovery. now dont get me wrong here...i am quite proud to be a consultant...i think they r the best invention by mankind..after the safety pin ofcourse...! but something within me...made me lie..
and wait..there is more...
so i seat myself...and put the "do not disturb...even if the friggin plane is going down and i dont have my for gods sake seat belt on" tag on my seat...and as i am about to close my eyes...she comes in again...
"hot towels please"
sleep's gone..! am with discovery again...
"so what do you do for discovery"...she asks...while holding the towel for the passenger to me left (i was aisle)...and given who was sitting on tht seat...i am sure he felt it was some sort of hypnotic towel..meant to soothen the body during the flight...cause he jst didnt move his eyes off it.
"ummm...i work as a photographer for them"
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...cold blooded lie...how cud u...!!
"wow...thats awesome...! here in dubai"
"nope..in their delhi office. had come to dubai to cover the desert safari for a brochure we are working on.."
if only my thought process was as fast when needed
"thats quite interesting. please let me know if you need anything. i promise not to disturb you though...even if the friggin plane is going down and i dont have my for gods sake seat belt on
yes yes yes...she reads my mind...i can so totally see it...!! wuuuhuuuuuuu
so...rest of the flight was quite good...slept a decent bit..and each time i woke up..i saw her fanning me with a magazine...smiling sweetly at me as if so totally admiring me..! ok...i am lying here...cmon...u cudnt hv believed me now..!!
but yeah...i didnt see her at all till the flight landed...
at the entrance...she was there...with her..."thnks...bye bye now"...and i went...wtf man...let it go...
"ummm...btw i was lying...! i dont work for discovery. my fiance does. she gave me this tee"
"hahaha..!! u serious...??? well...btw...discovery is not my fav channel either..."
WTF...!!!
"...u see...its our job...we have to do it..."
:)
~a
Monday, November 06, 2006
so...kerela was fun. i wasnt raped...and no guy touched me as well. no wait...i take tht back...i mean...i went for a massage on thr last day...
the entire team had left on sunday and we dubai sheikhs were left to ourselves...given the timing of our flight. so i pretty much slept through the day...didnt hv lunch...watched the finals...fought a fire back in office...and then decided to go for a massage...
the weirdest hour of my life...
ok...so i was ready to be almost naked...infront of a guy whom i hadnt met...ever..! big shit..i thought to myself. if gandhi could almost do it...infront of the entire world...heck..am just an overweight normal guy..! and then...the fact that the massage place would provide disposable underwear...did provide for some relief.
so i enter this room...and this dude...i will call him X...opens the almirah..and reaches out for a small cigar like thing. i guess its the underwear...and as he takes the wrapper off and asks me to wear it..while he waits outside...several thoughts cross my mind...till it hits me...
WAIT A MINUTEEEEE...!!! AT WHAT POINT OF TIME WERE YOU PLANNING TO TELL ME THAT DISPOSABLE UNDERWEAR MEANS TRANSPARENT UNDERWEAR...!!!????
it was at this precise moment...when i am in my original undies...holding the 'disposable' undies...tht i realize where it all came from...the phrase..."point of no return"
ok..so calm down...all's good...believe in your sexuality...hold on...dont sweat...hold on...calm down...just close your eyes and imagine its some machine operating on you...!
the music is chosen...and the oil is heated. they start with the head and its quite a fascinating feeling when the 1st drop touches your scalp. i am a sucker for head massages...once gave a tip of 50 (on a rate list of 30) to a guy whom i cud hv married if he was a girl...simply cause of the head massage he gave me..!
the next 15 odd mins are soothing. the massage is flowing smoothly...the occasional 'touching' is conveniently ignored...and before i realize i am fast asleep.
"sir sir sir...r u ok sir...r u ok sir"...shaking me rigourously. i wake up with a jerk...open my eyes...and find X's face in friggin nanometer smooching distance.
holy shit..!!
i mean dude....am i the first person to hv fallen asleep during a RELAXATION massage...???? cmon for god sake...
for any current or to-be masseur...here is a healthy tip...
imagine a sage...seeking nirvana. and some dude has told him...tapasya for 22 yrs...and u shall hv it. so he begins...and the present time is 21 yrs...11 months...23 hrs...and 45 mins. i mean...friggin 15 min away frm nirvana. now what X did was equivalent to shaking the sage out of his meditation and asking him the directions to the river where the local beautiies bathe..!!
DONT EVER DO IT..!! someone's gonna get hurt real bad...!
it was never the same after tht. the massage ended and i didnt quite enjoy it the way i expected myself to...but heck..atleast i got one in kerela..!!
life's 'gay'..!!
~a
PS: as a sidenote...AD kicked ass today at the DB interview. and i expected him to. it was an awesome feeling when he told me abt it...though i cudnt resist going back in time...exactly a yr back. to this day...i dont know what to make out of that day...but i do remember telling PG this...a week after my interviews..."zindagi mein kuch bhi...kabhi itni aasaani se nahi mila"....! and yeah...sach mein nahi mila!
proud of u AD...jst hang in there now...! its ur day today...!
the entire team had left on sunday and we dubai sheikhs were left to ourselves...given the timing of our flight. so i pretty much slept through the day...didnt hv lunch...watched the finals...fought a fire back in office...and then decided to go for a massage...
the weirdest hour of my life...
ok...so i was ready to be almost naked...infront of a guy whom i hadnt met...ever..! big shit..i thought to myself. if gandhi could almost do it...infront of the entire world...heck..am just an overweight normal guy..! and then...the fact that the massage place would provide disposable underwear...did provide for some relief.
so i enter this room...and this dude...i will call him X...opens the almirah..and reaches out for a small cigar like thing. i guess its the underwear...and as he takes the wrapper off and asks me to wear it..while he waits outside...several thoughts cross my mind...till it hits me...
WAIT A MINUTEEEEE...!!! AT WHAT POINT OF TIME WERE YOU PLANNING TO TELL ME THAT DISPOSABLE UNDERWEAR MEANS TRANSPARENT UNDERWEAR...!!!????
it was at this precise moment...when i am in my original undies...holding the 'disposable' undies...tht i realize where it all came from...the phrase..."point of no return"
ok..so calm down...all's good...believe in your sexuality...hold on...dont sweat...hold on...calm down...just close your eyes and imagine its some machine operating on you...!
the music is chosen...and the oil is heated. they start with the head and its quite a fascinating feeling when the 1st drop touches your scalp. i am a sucker for head massages...once gave a tip of 50 (on a rate list of 30) to a guy whom i cud hv married if he was a girl...simply cause of the head massage he gave me..!
the next 15 odd mins are soothing. the massage is flowing smoothly...the occasional 'touching' is conveniently ignored...and before i realize i am fast asleep.
"sir sir sir...r u ok sir...r u ok sir"...shaking me rigourously. i wake up with a jerk...open my eyes...and find X's face in friggin nanometer smooching distance.
holy shit..!!
i mean dude....am i the first person to hv fallen asleep during a RELAXATION massage...???? cmon for god sake...
for any current or to-be masseur...here is a healthy tip...
imagine a sage...seeking nirvana. and some dude has told him...tapasya for 22 yrs...and u shall hv it. so he begins...and the present time is 21 yrs...11 months...23 hrs...and 45 mins. i mean...friggin 15 min away frm nirvana. now what X did was equivalent to shaking the sage out of his meditation and asking him the directions to the river where the local beautiies bathe..!!
DONT EVER DO IT..!! someone's gonna get hurt real bad...!
it was never the same after tht. the massage ended and i didnt quite enjoy it the way i expected myself to...but heck..atleast i got one in kerela..!!
life's 'gay'..!!
~a
PS: as a sidenote...AD kicked ass today at the DB interview. and i expected him to. it was an awesome feeling when he told me abt it...though i cudnt resist going back in time...exactly a yr back. to this day...i dont know what to make out of that day...but i do remember telling PG this...a week after my interviews..."zindagi mein kuch bhi...kabhi itni aasaani se nahi mila"....! and yeah...sach mein nahi mila!
proud of u AD...jst hang in there now...! its ur day today...!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
...am brining sexy back...
it just had to be something to do with coming back...so heck...here i am...
i had almost blogged yesterday. dont know how many of you have this keeda in them...but i somehow like things to start..ummm...dont know how to state this...
its like...i cud hv blgged on the 28th as well...but then the 1st of nov sounded too cool a date to blog again...esp if u hv gone missin for 3 weeks. its like..when u walking..u dont want to step on the tile boundary...or u just want to walk on the black tiles...and want to start your work at 4.30...when u wud hv easily done so at 4.23..!!
ok..i hv OCD...cut..!!
___
so imagine the scene.
me on a chair...cross legged...jst managin not to fall off...(did i mention tht i hv put on friggin 2 kgs since ISB...and tht is after my GM diet wherein i lost 3!!!)...on my laptop...chkin my mail...and infront of me...this huge door...all open...allowing me to face one of the prettiest beaches i hv been to...
am on our annual offsite. at the Leela - kovallam beach, kerela.
there is something abt these 5 star god damn hotels tht pisses me off...! why the hell do they give me tht look..."dude...u wud be better off working for us...than staying with us.."...when they see me in slippers...and a tee tht might hv a hole or two. i mean...wtf...i hv jst come frm a 4 hr long flight...and yeah...i agree...i might not be looking my best...but then thts me. dont stare atleast. worse still...dont make faces to show tht i am some kind of a anti-marketing freak..who shall destroy the 20 odd yrs of reputation tht u hv...!!
and so much so for their intelligence...they bloody put me up with another colleague of mine...AND...same bed...no no...better still...same friggin sheet to pull over. what is it..annual gay sex meet...(SL...didnt i tell u last night..!!).
the room is quite weirdly designed..! who puts the wash basin out of the washroom...i mean..WHO..!! after u disrobe...and ease urself on the pot...u realize...oopsie...washin hand wud mean another round of hot gay masti...cause u hv to bloody go out...in the room..!!
and then ur mom has always told u....after a nice shit...dont ever touch anything except the soap..! so as u reach out for the towel...your conscience...(or is it ur mom's??) gets the better of u..!! for once i had to kill it..! but not before my roomie...(who i shall beddie frm now on..for reasons unknown)...gets to see my 'better half'..(which btw..is quite diff frm my 'working half')..!
friggin Leela..!
its 4 days here...after which i dont really know where i wud go....cause of some meetings tht hvnt been scheduled as yet...! but these 4 days does sound like good fun. hoping for a really good time...and a 200 basis point increase in vaseline's revenue..!!
am bringing sexy back....yeahhhhhh
~a
i had almost blogged yesterday. dont know how many of you have this keeda in them...but i somehow like things to start..ummm...dont know how to state this...
its like...i cud hv blgged on the 28th as well...but then the 1st of nov sounded too cool a date to blog again...esp if u hv gone missin for 3 weeks. its like..when u walking..u dont want to step on the tile boundary...or u just want to walk on the black tiles...and want to start your work at 4.30...when u wud hv easily done so at 4.23..!!
ok..i hv OCD...cut..!!
___
so imagine the scene.
me on a chair...cross legged...jst managin not to fall off...(did i mention tht i hv put on friggin 2 kgs since ISB...and tht is after my GM diet wherein i lost 3!!!)...on my laptop...chkin my mail...and infront of me...this huge door...all open...allowing me to face one of the prettiest beaches i hv been to...
am on our annual offsite. at the Leela - kovallam beach, kerela.
there is something abt these 5 star god damn hotels tht pisses me off...! why the hell do they give me tht look..."dude...u wud be better off working for us...than staying with us.."...when they see me in slippers...and a tee tht might hv a hole or two. i mean...wtf...i hv jst come frm a 4 hr long flight...and yeah...i agree...i might not be looking my best...but then thts me. dont stare atleast. worse still...dont make faces to show tht i am some kind of a anti-marketing freak..who shall destroy the 20 odd yrs of reputation tht u hv...!!
and so much so for their intelligence...they bloody put me up with another colleague of mine...AND...same bed...no no...better still...same friggin sheet to pull over. what is it..annual gay sex meet...(SL...didnt i tell u last night..!!).
the room is quite weirdly designed..! who puts the wash basin out of the washroom...i mean..WHO..!! after u disrobe...and ease urself on the pot...u realize...oopsie...washin hand wud mean another round of hot gay masti...cause u hv to bloody go out...in the room..!!
and then ur mom has always told u....after a nice shit...dont ever touch anything except the soap..! so as u reach out for the towel...your conscience...(or is it ur mom's??) gets the better of u..!! for once i had to kill it..! but not before my roomie...(who i shall beddie frm now on..for reasons unknown)...gets to see my 'better half'..(which btw..is quite diff frm my 'working half')..!
friggin Leela..!
its 4 days here...after which i dont really know where i wud go....cause of some meetings tht hvnt been scheduled as yet...! but these 4 days does sound like good fun. hoping for a really good time...and a 200 basis point increase in vaseline's revenue..!!
am bringing sexy back....yeahhhhhh
~a
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
