just one piece of advice my friend...just one piece...
dont question anything...they think its a fantastic idea to have shehnai playing next to the DJ...heck it is....they think that you cant meet her entire next week till the actual wedding day...so be it...they think flowers on the ground will look better than flowers on the table...oh you bet they would....they think getting a kashmiri singer to sing for 6 hours and paying him 13 grand is all fine...yes it is..
...they think they know better...ofcourse they do....
...just be in the auto pilot mode...drive...dont direct....
so be it....
am off people....marriage is knocking on my door...and the parents of all single women in this world are hosting a global party to celebrate the occasion..
everyone's invited...
catch you in november...
~a
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Investment Strategy 101
Market drops 10%...relpet drops 13% to 159
Trading stalled
SEBI issues clarification on PN – it is not banned…just being controlled…!!
Market bound to bounce back now.
Buy 1,00,000 worth of relpet at 11.30am at 163 – under margin trading
Sell relpet at 179 at 2pm
10% gain in single day…!!
God bless the SEBI…
PS: not much work today…
Trading stalled
SEBI issues clarification on PN – it is not banned…just being controlled…!!
Market bound to bounce back now.
Buy 1,00,000 worth of relpet at 11.30am at 163 – under margin trading
Sell relpet at 179 at 2pm
10% gain in single day…!!
God bless the SEBI…
PS: not much work today…
Thursday, October 04, 2007
yeh to bada toin hain....
belive me if you wish to...but this is actually the motto of our new project...! its a tough piece to work on...data is as scarce as images of rakhi sawant hiding her assets and instances of bappi lahiri adressing himself as bappi lahiri and not Mr. Bappi Lahiri...
so basically...yah...the project bada toin hain...!! i am sure you are not one of who those doesnt hv a friggin clue of what i am talking about...
which brings me to a few ads that i have seen/heard lately...and hv got me questioning the fundamental of mankind. ok...whatever...not as far...but definitely questioning some fundamental...lying someplace...
1. Laxmi Chachi
some dude told me that its Reema Lagoo in there....and i was like....bullshit...get out of here....she is like...mom dude...she is Mother India. there is no way in hell that she would be seen on national TV stretching panties...
but holy friggin shit its true...its really true...
i mean why....why woudl anyone....anyyyyyone...do this..!! it couldnt be possibly money....especially not reema lagoo...she is friggin mom everywhere...! omnipresent....! jst like himesh bhaiya...! u think of celluloid moms (why doesnt this sound right...?? nevermind)...and you think of her..! and here she is...going through rounds of elasticity to such gory details...!! eeessshhhh...in utpal dutt style....
2. Ravi Nursing Home
so..i admit...i am a convert....! from believing that indian radio sucks real BIG TIME...i hv atleast started dedicatig office driving time to Fever 104...and quite like the channel and the RJ lokesh. but no..it wasnt his ad...
i believe it was world heart day sometime back...and i hear this marvel of an ad on radio...
"celebrate the world heart day with a 20% discount on bypass surgery at the Ravi Nursing Home. SMS heart to 5 something something"
WTF..!!!
so lemme attempt to enter the mind of the patient here...and gather his internal response on hearing the ad
"oh wow...20% discount...awesome shit...i have to get that long postponed bypass surgery now...darling chale???"
"toooooooo much...20% discount...joy to the world...i better cancel my apollo hospital reservation and check in to the ravi nursing home. consumer is the king..."
"OMGGGGG...i mean...OM friggin GGGGG....i had to hear this right on the day after my by pass surgery...here i am ...wasted all my savings on a stupid operation...and this gem of a deal comes and goes bham...!! right in my head...shit shit....shitttt....a..aaahhhh...aaahhhh...mera dil...koi hain...koi hainnnn....dil mein dard...koi hainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
moronic material man...moronic..!! my to-do list before 30 has another item...meet the creator of this ad...
any other masterpieces from the indian land...??? please share...
~a
so basically...yah...the project bada toin hain...!! i am sure you are not one of who those doesnt hv a friggin clue of what i am talking about...
which brings me to a few ads that i have seen/heard lately...and hv got me questioning the fundamental of mankind. ok...whatever...not as far...but definitely questioning some fundamental...lying someplace...
1. Laxmi Chachi
some dude told me that its Reema Lagoo in there....and i was like....bullshit...get out of here....she is like...mom dude...she is Mother India. there is no way in hell that she would be seen on national TV stretching panties...
but holy friggin shit its true...its really true...
i mean why....why woudl anyone....anyyyyyone...do this..!! it couldnt be possibly money....especially not reema lagoo...she is friggin mom everywhere...! omnipresent....! jst like himesh bhaiya...! u think of celluloid moms (why doesnt this sound right...?? nevermind)...and you think of her..! and here she is...going through rounds of elasticity to such gory details...!! eeessshhhh...in utpal dutt style....
2. Ravi Nursing Home
so..i admit...i am a convert....! from believing that indian radio sucks real BIG TIME...i hv atleast started dedicatig office driving time to Fever 104...and quite like the channel and the RJ lokesh. but no..it wasnt his ad...
i believe it was world heart day sometime back...and i hear this marvel of an ad on radio...
"celebrate the world heart day with a 20% discount on bypass surgery at the Ravi Nursing Home. SMS heart to 5 something something"
WTF..!!!
so lemme attempt to enter the mind of the patient here...and gather his internal response on hearing the ad
"oh wow...20% discount...awesome shit...i have to get that long postponed bypass surgery now...darling chale???"
"toooooooo much...20% discount...joy to the world...i better cancel my apollo hospital reservation and check in to the ravi nursing home. consumer is the king..."
"OMGGGGG...i mean...OM friggin GGGGG....i had to hear this right on the day after my by pass surgery...here i am ...wasted all my savings on a stupid operation...and this gem of a deal comes and goes bham...!! right in my head...shit shit....shitttt....a..aaahhhh...aaahhhh...mera dil...koi hain...koi hainnnn....dil mein dard...koi hainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
moronic material man...moronic..!! my to-do list before 30 has another item...meet the creator of this ad...
any other masterpieces from the indian land...??? please share...
~a
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
0313
...its no more 'changing the face of media and entertainment'
...its no more leaving office at 7pm
...its no more sleeping at 12 noon...after 2 hrs of browsing
...its no more waking up excited at the prospects of meeting 'someone' today
...its about oil and gas now...
...its pipelines...
...its tiring...tiring...
...its 0313 hrs...
...its about checking into the hotel right now and checking out at 0800 hrs...
...its still abt waking up excited at the thought of the marriage vacation starting next week...
JOY...!
~a
...its no more leaving office at 7pm
...its no more sleeping at 12 noon...after 2 hrs of browsing
...its no more waking up excited at the prospects of meeting 'someone' today
...its about oil and gas now...
...its pipelines...
...its tiring...tiring...
...its 0313 hrs...
...its about checking into the hotel right now and checking out at 0800 hrs...
...its still abt waking up excited at the thought of the marriage vacation starting next week...
JOY...!
~a
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
a new piece....
i can see SL nodding her head...when i say that i love to use the word 'piece' for my projects..!! so yeah...i started on a new piece last week...and its been crazy since then. its not like the ones which gives you an orgasm...but ok...with only 3 weeks to go before i take off for marriage...i dont mind collecting hotel and frequent flier points....
PK and KM got married...and it was a blast of a week...i mean awesome fun...! i can almost see that my marriage wont be even half as much fun...PK was actually with us all the nights...except for the first night ofcourse....chatting away to glory...drinking happily...and just generally having a good time. while i will be thrust upon relatives..who will not only want to apply mehendi on me..there will also be the quintessential "khushi ke aansoon" at every 12 nanoseconds....
the only saving grace will be the fact that loads of people are coming down for the wedding...so a mini reunion of sorts is expected...right from school, college...to ofcourse isb....
life is expected to be busy for a long time now...so lets see when we catch up next....
till then...
...life's good...
~a
PK and KM got married...and it was a blast of a week...i mean awesome fun...! i can almost see that my marriage wont be even half as much fun...PK was actually with us all the nights...except for the first night ofcourse....chatting away to glory...drinking happily...and just generally having a good time. while i will be thrust upon relatives..who will not only want to apply mehendi on me..there will also be the quintessential "khushi ke aansoon" at every 12 nanoseconds....
the only saving grace will be the fact that loads of people are coming down for the wedding...so a mini reunion of sorts is expected...right from school, college...to ofcourse isb....
life is expected to be busy for a long time now...so lets see when we catch up next....
till then...
...life's good...
~a
Thursday, September 06, 2007
faith like a child...
set apart its capacity, coolness and the ability to make the CD look obsolete...i love my iPod for the simple reason that it helps me connect to my past so effortlessly. as long as i remember, music has formed an integral part of life...and somehow each phase of my life has a song attached to it.
i wont mention a particular song lest daddy will kill me for bringing it up again...but a whole lot of other songs too bring back memories of a life once lived...and emotions once felt...
this morning...heard one such number...
took me back to possibly the longest phase of self-doubt i have experienced...
strange how it took just this one song to get me back...
...they say that i can move the mountains...
...and send them crashing to the sea...
...they say that i can walk on water...
...if i follow and believe...
...with faith like a child...
Jars of Clay is a gospel rock band...they sing songs in praise of the lord...and do an awesome job at it....! it might be tough to get your hands on a CD in India...but if you do....grab it..!
~a
i wont mention a particular song lest daddy will kill me for bringing it up again...but a whole lot of other songs too bring back memories of a life once lived...and emotions once felt...
this morning...heard one such number...
took me back to possibly the longest phase of self-doubt i have experienced...
strange how it took just this one song to get me back...
...they say that i can move the mountains...
...and send them crashing to the sea...
...they say that i can walk on water...
...if i follow and believe...
...with faith like a child...
- Faith like a child; Jars of Clay
Jars of Clay is a gospel rock band...they sing songs in praise of the lord...and do an awesome job at it....! it might be tough to get your hands on a CD in India...but if you do....grab it..!
~a
Monday, September 03, 2007
Srinagar...chak de...and 203...
went for a fantastic vacation to srinagar (after 20 years) with family...from the 15-19 of August.
some memories from the place...
http://picasaweb.google.com/warikoo/JKTripAug2007
___________________
during my recent engagement, there was a time when we were trying to understand the film business in India. typically the first response of anyone would be...its a gamble...no one really knows what will work. which seems obvious....i mean cmon...Himes bhaiya kicked everyone's ass with his debut...and no one has ever attempted a murder attack on bappi lahiri...and ofcourse...KJo (or karan johar for the straight population) still thinks that KANK was his best attempt at maturity...!!
so yeah....at first glance...the industry seems to be not driven by any logic...! what works...what wil work...no one knows...so people jst continue making films in the hope of that pot of luck...
but then...being consultants...with the word anal used as a prefix....it didnt make sense..! a frggin USD 2Bn industry...running on zero logic...! is there no way to ensure atleast a high probability...
and thats when the last week...threw the answer...
last sunday...i watched Chak De
yesterday...i watched Victoria No. 203...
and the difference....wow..!!
Chak De India
i admit...for the first time...SRK wasnt himself. people said that it was the same in Swades too...but frankly i didnt see it. The movie completely rested on him...and he had his moments of 'pulling back his free flowing hair in the midst of a storm'...! i mean...why the f does he need to run all the way upto the water tank...take off his shirt...and plunge into it to discover that the opening had been choked..there were fifty friggin people standing next to the tank...and all with their shirts off already...! lekin nahi...main to SRK hoon...main hoon naa...
anyways..so yeah...the first time that he wasnt himself. the story was simple...yet unique and powerful. and the director did full justice to it. each and every shot was there for a purpose...the editing was crisp...and we didnt get to see too much of SRK..! the girsl were ofcourse...yes yes...preeti sabharwal included...awesome. komal chautala was an absolute gem...
ofcourse SRK had to piss me off at some point of time...but surprisingly that come through in the movie. rather in an interview...where Mr Khan states...
"the movie required me to wear a beard all the time. it was really stressful for me"
we understand Mr. Khan...we totally do....! not only would the beard have ensured that KJo didnt come close to you for the entire period...it mst have been torturous for your fans to not see your dimple...and your oh so cute cheeks. we understand...
but the main point is...i loved the movie...every bit of it...! its those types whose DVD can be bought...and stored...maybe never watched...but you have that solace that its there...and you can watch it anytime...!
so there....a powerful production house...(YRF)...fantastic direction and editing...perfect placement of songs...powerful performances....and u have a winner..!
now you would want to believe that everyone knows this...but heck...no....
Victoria No. 203
And the best performance in a supporting role...goes to Dora's bra...!!! and you have to watch the movie to know what i am talking about...!
why...why on earth...would a woman agree for such a role..! money cudnt be jst it..!! but anyways...so this lady...with the screen name dora....apparently a ninja in the movie...steals these diamonds...but not before she decides to show the world her cleavage...all thru the robbery.
you know...i dont understand much of camera work and direction...!! but i sure know somethings that i am convinced everyone does as well....
1. when you rapel down a building....its NEVER...face down...
2. when the artist approaches the camera...and even comes within 12 inches of the camera...the camera shud ideally move back as well....
ofcourse...the reasons why the 2 didnt happen in the movie are obvious....even to women for a change..! in short...disgusting..!!
the movie apart from this....horrible. it had its share of good laughs...thanks to Om puri and Anupam Kher...who are masters in their field but were clearly made to underperform...! but overall...no concept of editing...no concept of song placement...or for that matter song lyrics...(imagine the actors trying to find the lock which fits the key they have...and they burst into a song on the road..."help me please...to find the locker...find the locker...help me please...")
and some actors were born to overact..! i think kamal sadanah is one of them...or maybe even heads that organization...! imagine producing the movie (its his production) and then sealing its fate by acting in it as well..! crap..!!
so there...another piece of garbage...
...almost twice the size of hollywood...and 1/10th in value...!!!
~a
some memories from the place...
http://picasaweb.google.com/warikoo/JKTripAug2007
___________________
during my recent engagement, there was a time when we were trying to understand the film business in India. typically the first response of anyone would be...its a gamble...no one really knows what will work. which seems obvious....i mean cmon...Himes bhaiya kicked everyone's ass with his debut...and no one has ever attempted a murder attack on bappi lahiri...and ofcourse...KJo (or karan johar for the straight population) still thinks that KANK was his best attempt at maturity...!!
so yeah....at first glance...the industry seems to be not driven by any logic...! what works...what wil work...no one knows...so people jst continue making films in the hope of that pot of luck...
but then...being consultants...with the word anal used as a prefix....it didnt make sense..! a frggin USD 2Bn industry...running on zero logic...! is there no way to ensure atleast a high probability...
and thats when the last week...threw the answer...
last sunday...i watched Chak De
yesterday...i watched Victoria No. 203...
and the difference....wow..!!
Chak De India
i admit...for the first time...SRK wasnt himself. people said that it was the same in Swades too...but frankly i didnt see it. The movie completely rested on him...and he had his moments of 'pulling back his free flowing hair in the midst of a storm'...! i mean...why the f does he need to run all the way upto the water tank...take off his shirt...and plunge into it to discover that the opening had been choked..there were fifty friggin people standing next to the tank...and all with their shirts off already...! lekin nahi...main to SRK hoon...main hoon naa...
anyways..so yeah...the first time that he wasnt himself. the story was simple...yet unique and powerful. and the director did full justice to it. each and every shot was there for a purpose...the editing was crisp...and we didnt get to see too much of SRK..! the girsl were ofcourse...yes yes...preeti sabharwal included...awesome. komal chautala was an absolute gem...
ofcourse SRK had to piss me off at some point of time...but surprisingly that come through in the movie. rather in an interview...where Mr Khan states...
"the movie required me to wear a beard all the time. it was really stressful for me"
we understand Mr. Khan...we totally do....! not only would the beard have ensured that KJo didnt come close to you for the entire period...it mst have been torturous for your fans to not see your dimple...and your oh so cute cheeks. we understand...
but the main point is...i loved the movie...every bit of it...! its those types whose DVD can be bought...and stored...maybe never watched...but you have that solace that its there...and you can watch it anytime...!
so there....a powerful production house...(YRF)...fantastic direction and editing...perfect placement of songs...powerful performances....and u have a winner..!
now you would want to believe that everyone knows this...but heck...no....
Victoria No. 203
And the best performance in a supporting role...goes to Dora's bra...!!! and you have to watch the movie to know what i am talking about...!
why...why on earth...would a woman agree for such a role..! money cudnt be jst it..!! but anyways...so this lady...with the screen name dora....apparently a ninja in the movie...steals these diamonds...but not before she decides to show the world her cleavage...all thru the robbery.
you know...i dont understand much of camera work and direction...!! but i sure know somethings that i am convinced everyone does as well....
1. when you rapel down a building....its NEVER...face down...
2. when the artist approaches the camera...and even comes within 12 inches of the camera...the camera shud ideally move back as well....
ofcourse...the reasons why the 2 didnt happen in the movie are obvious....even to women for a change..! in short...disgusting..!!
the movie apart from this....horrible. it had its share of good laughs...thanks to Om puri and Anupam Kher...who are masters in their field but were clearly made to underperform...! but overall...no concept of editing...no concept of song placement...or for that matter song lyrics...(imagine the actors trying to find the lock which fits the key they have...and they burst into a song on the road..."help me please...to find the locker...find the locker...help me please...")
and some actors were born to overact..! i think kamal sadanah is one of them...or maybe even heads that organization...! imagine producing the movie (its his production) and then sealing its fate by acting in it as well..! crap..!!
so there...another piece of garbage...
...almost twice the size of hollywood...and 1/10th in value...!!!
~a
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
go...Indigo..
life as a consultant always gears you up for an alternative career as a hotel and airline critic....! and yeah...ofcourse...rental car service critic too..! which reminds me...why do all the cabs...even the ones running in the evening, carry yesterday's newspaper..! and why do i still read them..?
anyways...so yeah...hotel and airline critic. hotels are for later...but recently i realized that i have flown all the airlines in the indian skies...! so here...
Indian
I strongly protest the name firstly...! given how they perform...all that we will hear is...Indian food sucks...Indian is never on time...Indian women are old...and rude...and well...at times you need time to figure out that they are women...!
that said...who am i to complain of the name. but for hevens sake..if i buy a ticket...plz...plz...dont jst give me a craft to fly in..and a seat to sit on..! give me some respect as well...!
"Ummm...could I have today's financial express?"
"we dont carry all the newspaper in this country"
"some water please?"
"can i first finish giving everyone their food..."
"please dont disturb me for the meals. i am full and would like to sleep"
"sir...sir...sir...(shaking me left and right...GET UP YOU BUGGER)...ma'am..he is not getting up...sir...sir...ah yes...sir...would you like veg or non-veg...?"
please...please...dont fly those...! please....
Jet
Has got to have the best frequent flier program..! fantastic upgrades....and beautiful service..! ofcourse...sexy flight timings...and great confort. so my personal first choice...
but then....they overdo it...
"sir...veg or non-veg"
"no i am fine...wont have anything"
"are you sure sir?"
"yes...pretty much...thank you..."
"can i get you some fruits"
"no please...thanks"
"sure sir..?"
"(mataji...maine kal chacha ke chole bhature khaye the....aur mujhe dast lag gayi hain. agar maine kuch khaaya...to yahaan nadiyaan beh jayenge...and u know of what...so plz...can i not have anything...) Yes...thanks again"
Air Deccan
i hereby declare the eighth wonder of the world. Air Deccan landing each time it takes off...! with the state of their crafts and the way the pilots run those machines...its sheer miracle at play. maybe we should call gopinath a saint..!
I remember...while at ISB...AD was my fav airline. one cause that was the only one i could afford from hyd to delhi for my home trips...and two cause i handt flown anything else except jet. and that was at a time when the del-mumbai return ticket used to cost in numbers as bappi lahiri has gold in kgs..! basically shit loads...! until AD arrived and changed everything...
but then it jst lost it mid-way. if you arrive at any airport...the only passenger counter with the max passengers...and the max chaos will be it.
and recently...i read this as an Advertisement for AD.
"We have 99% OTP (on time performance)"
the fine print....which was in a font size smaller than all roles of rakhi sawant in bollywood put together...said...OTP measures if a flight has arrived/departed within an hour of its scheduled arrival/departure time..!
holy friggin shit...! this means that 1% of all AD flights actually land an hr after scheduled time..!! and they fly some 350 flights a day....so 4 flights daily with this statistic...!! horrible...!
Spicejet
a late entrant in the no-frills space...but has done itself a lot of good..! decent airlines with great potential. have only flown it once...so cant really comment...
Indigo
This has got to take the cake. an absolute delight to fly this. one thing smart that they do is to allow buffer time on their stated arrival time. so even though its factually incorrect...psychologically it works wonder. so all the times that i have flown Indigo....they have always landed much before their scheduled time..!
plush aircrafts...extremely friendly staff...brilliant comfort. right from the bus that takes you to the craft from the terminal...to the leg space and the seats itself.
funny is how these no-frills airlines dont expect business travellers at all. i boarded an indigo...to go to ISB last week...and was in my business suit. firstly...people couldnt stop getting amazed and amused at my attire...so much so that i checked myself if i still had my pants on....
i board the craft...and out of habit give my jacket to the airhostess. she politely...and quite regretfully informs that they dont have a provision to keep jackets...! nor did they have any business newspaper on board...! but i can live with these....
Kingfisher
always...and i mean...always...ask for the aisle seat. and if you have flown kingfisher...you know why...! great service...horrible food...and no concept of cost cutting. i appreciate them handing that passenger kit..but frankly...why waste that bit. has any customer research been undertaken to see what all frm that kit is actually carried out by the passenger...? i see the pen used a lot...but thats abt it..!
i hv written abt the airlines previously as well...so will attach an excerpt...
and then...we hv to give to mr mallaya. i mean...u get balls of steel to get yana gupta to speak hindi...let alone show how to unbuckle a seatbelt. the words tht she used were last used in 2000 BC...when the aryans were taking their first bullock cart ride...! i mean...who in gods name...uses "sunishchit...!!!" nowadays. i am sure in some part of the plane...a lady wud hv gone...."there...thats the name of my 1st kid...!!!" and the funniest part was blowing the lifejacket. it looked like a lipstick ad...! guys who travel kingfisher...watch out for this...! funny...
_____________________________________________
recently have bid adieu to a lot of close folks at ATK. all of which have left for fantastic opportunities. Shintu left for his MBA...and why wouldnt he be happy...his school tops the FORBES list this year for the best RoI...! friggin shit..! a school has to have balls to have the best RoI on USD 120K..!! all the best dude...will surely miss u....
and then rintu...(for those who dont know...rintu...shintu are not brothers...but could have easily been so..! nor are these their real names....shintu is basically shambunath...and rintu is known as rinkle khanna...ok...kiddin..!)...left as well...in some ways back to where he belonged. it hurt...cause not only is he a true gem..he was also quite close...!
then today was the last day of one of my fav people at ATK. AC surprisingly isnt a consultant...but an executive assistant. so limited to our interactions...i struck a great chord with her. you know...its days such as these that one realizes how imp the admin people are in an org...!
you enter office and you have VJ...the face of ATK...with a smile...! and then the security guards...with that goodmorning sir...and again..a smile...and then you pass RM...who ofcourse is perpetually married to her life patner. who comes in white color and measures 2 inches...and NO...i am not talking about that..!! so anyways...RM is always all so lost to see me...but then an occasional...katrina kaif smile comes by...and then comes AC. always cheerful...always smiling...! and always ready to offer a helping hand.
and this makes me feel...is this a phenomenon that beats the law of averages. how can everyone in the firm be likeable..and be just at the right wavelength for you. how can everyone be so approachable...and so dependable...! but so be it...who is out there to disprove this....
_____________________________________________
came back this sunday from a fantastic trip to srinagar. loads of pics to share....will do so by the next post...
till then...keep the faith...
life's good...
~a
anyways...so yeah...hotel and airline critic. hotels are for later...but recently i realized that i have flown all the airlines in the indian skies...! so here...
Indian
I strongly protest the name firstly...! given how they perform...all that we will hear is...Indian food sucks...Indian is never on time...Indian women are old...and rude...and well...at times you need time to figure out that they are women...!
that said...who am i to complain of the name. but for hevens sake..if i buy a ticket...plz...plz...dont jst give me a craft to fly in..and a seat to sit on..! give me some respect as well...!
"Ummm...could I have today's financial express?"
"we dont carry all the newspaper in this country"
"some water please?"
"can i first finish giving everyone their food..."
"please dont disturb me for the meals. i am full and would like to sleep"
"sir...sir...sir...(shaking me left and right...GET UP YOU BUGGER)...ma'am..he is not getting up...sir...sir...ah yes...sir...would you like veg or non-veg...?"
please...please...dont fly those...! please....
Jet
Has got to have the best frequent flier program..! fantastic upgrades....and beautiful service..! ofcourse...sexy flight timings...and great confort. so my personal first choice...
but then....they overdo it...
"sir...veg or non-veg"
"no i am fine...wont have anything"
"are you sure sir?"
"yes...pretty much...thank you..."
"can i get you some fruits"
"no please...thanks"
"sure sir..?"
"(mataji...maine kal chacha ke chole bhature khaye the....aur mujhe dast lag gayi hain. agar maine kuch khaaya...to yahaan nadiyaan beh jayenge...and u know of what...so plz...can i not have anything...) Yes...thanks again"
Air Deccan
i hereby declare the eighth wonder of the world. Air Deccan landing each time it takes off...! with the state of their crafts and the way the pilots run those machines...its sheer miracle at play. maybe we should call gopinath a saint..!
I remember...while at ISB...AD was my fav airline. one cause that was the only one i could afford from hyd to delhi for my home trips...and two cause i handt flown anything else except jet. and that was at a time when the del-mumbai return ticket used to cost in numbers as bappi lahiri has gold in kgs..! basically shit loads...! until AD arrived and changed everything...
but then it jst lost it mid-way. if you arrive at any airport...the only passenger counter with the max passengers...and the max chaos will be it.
and recently...i read this as an Advertisement for AD.
"We have 99% OTP (on time performance)"
the fine print....which was in a font size smaller than all roles of rakhi sawant in bollywood put together...said...OTP measures if a flight has arrived/departed within an hour of its scheduled arrival/departure time..!
holy friggin shit...! this means that 1% of all AD flights actually land an hr after scheduled time..!! and they fly some 350 flights a day....so 4 flights daily with this statistic...!! horrible...!
Spicejet
a late entrant in the no-frills space...but has done itself a lot of good..! decent airlines with great potential. have only flown it once...so cant really comment...
Indigo
This has got to take the cake. an absolute delight to fly this. one thing smart that they do is to allow buffer time on their stated arrival time. so even though its factually incorrect...psychologically it works wonder. so all the times that i have flown Indigo....they have always landed much before their scheduled time..!
plush aircrafts...extremely friendly staff...brilliant comfort. right from the bus that takes you to the craft from the terminal...to the leg space and the seats itself.
funny is how these no-frills airlines dont expect business travellers at all. i boarded an indigo...to go to ISB last week...and was in my business suit. firstly...people couldnt stop getting amazed and amused at my attire...so much so that i checked myself if i still had my pants on....
i board the craft...and out of habit give my jacket to the airhostess. she politely...and quite regretfully informs that they dont have a provision to keep jackets...! nor did they have any business newspaper on board...! but i can live with these....
Kingfisher
always...and i mean...always...ask for the aisle seat. and if you have flown kingfisher...you know why...! great service...horrible food...and no concept of cost cutting. i appreciate them handing that passenger kit..but frankly...why waste that bit. has any customer research been undertaken to see what all frm that kit is actually carried out by the passenger...? i see the pen used a lot...but thats abt it..!
i hv written abt the airlines previously as well...so will attach an excerpt...
and then...we hv to give to mr mallaya. i mean...u get balls of steel to get yana gupta to speak hindi...let alone show how to unbuckle a seatbelt. the words tht she used were last used in 2000 BC...when the aryans were taking their first bullock cart ride...! i mean...who in gods name...uses "sunishchit...!!!" nowadays. i am sure in some part of the plane...a lady wud hv gone...."there...thats the name of my 1st kid...!!!" and the funniest part was blowing the lifejacket. it looked like a lipstick ad...! guys who travel kingfisher...watch out for this...! funny...
_____________________________________________
recently have bid adieu to a lot of close folks at ATK. all of which have left for fantastic opportunities. Shintu left for his MBA...and why wouldnt he be happy...his school tops the FORBES list this year for the best RoI...! friggin shit..! a school has to have balls to have the best RoI on USD 120K..!! all the best dude...will surely miss u....
and then rintu...(for those who dont know...rintu...shintu are not brothers...but could have easily been so..! nor are these their real names....shintu is basically shambunath...and rintu is known as rinkle khanna...ok...kiddin..!)...left as well...in some ways back to where he belonged. it hurt...cause not only is he a true gem..he was also quite close...!
then today was the last day of one of my fav people at ATK. AC surprisingly isnt a consultant...but an executive assistant. so limited to our interactions...i struck a great chord with her. you know...its days such as these that one realizes how imp the admin people are in an org...!
you enter office and you have VJ...the face of ATK...with a smile...! and then the security guards...with that goodmorning sir...and again..a smile...and then you pass RM...who ofcourse is perpetually married to her life patner. who comes in white color and measures 2 inches...and NO...i am not talking about that..!! so anyways...RM is always all so lost to see me...but then an occasional...katrina kaif smile comes by...and then comes AC. always cheerful...always smiling...! and always ready to offer a helping hand.
and this makes me feel...is this a phenomenon that beats the law of averages. how can everyone in the firm be likeable..and be just at the right wavelength for you. how can everyone be so approachable...and so dependable...! but so be it...who is out there to disprove this....
_____________________________________________
came back this sunday from a fantastic trip to srinagar. loads of pics to share....will do so by the next post...
till then...keep the faith...
life's good...
~a
Saturday, July 28, 2007
THIS...had to be it...
THIS...is inspiration....
THIS...is music...
THIS...is the strength of the human mind...
THIS...is what made me cry last night...
THIS...is Paul Pots
i love music....and the world will not be wrong if they saw me in my car...by myself...and my ipod...and termed be unfit for human contact.
but it rarely makes me cry...
this...had to be it...
~a
Thursday, July 26, 2007
games people play....
since the day i was born...i have been observing people. i noticed the mole on the doctor who gave birth to me and the fact that her stethoscope's left earpiece was bigger than the right one..! but then thats not observing people...so nevermind...
i find it as a good pastime...! even mre so when i see some dudes doing stuff that i just dont get...
for instance...picture this...
4 elevators in my office building..! 9am...5 people waiting on the lowest floor to go up...! a gentleman arrives from behind...makes his way through the 5-body crowd...and presses the up button...AGAIN...and AGAIN...!!
wtf was he thinking..! that the 5 of us are long lost buddies who are staring at the elevator walls trying to remember the day we played football in the rain...? or we are just zombies who have been working so hard that we stand infront of elevators wishing and praying that it comes down...u never know...u seee..!!
bugger...!!
and picture this....
mumbai airport...the new delhi flight is ready...all lining up to the bus that shall carry them to the machine of tight haristyled women and emotionally poisoned food...! and there you see Aamir Khan...! note that he is not trying to hide him....so if one has been born in the last year...there is no way that you cant recognize him...
a gentleman...mid 40s...comes up to him...and goes...
"are you aamir khan?"
no sherlock...i am bappi lahiri and i have been gyming for the past 6 months. but the friggin gym was so expensive...(bipasha basu also comes there u see)...that i had to sell off all my gold and thus u see me now in a body tight tee...and jeans...and no gold..
this is worse than the pre-historic habit that has engulfed motherkind...of asking..."tum aa gaye" when she saw er son come back from work...
people...i tell u....
____________________________________
work has been crazy lately....but awesome fun. helping shape the future of media and entertainment in india...and its somehow orgasmic to sit back and think that the room you just stepped out of...after your discussion with the CEO...was witness to something that will change the entire landscape forever...
and u urself will get to witness it...
bliss...
____________________________________
lately i have been itching myself with a lot of b-plans. dont know when and how to take the plunge...cause at some level you know that inaction right now can be suicidal...someone else will surely pick up your idea...and there....gone....
any people who wanna fund me...?
~a
i find it as a good pastime...! even mre so when i see some dudes doing stuff that i just dont get...
for instance...picture this...
4 elevators in my office building..! 9am...5 people waiting on the lowest floor to go up...! a gentleman arrives from behind...makes his way through the 5-body crowd...and presses the up button...AGAIN...and AGAIN...!!
wtf was he thinking..! that the 5 of us are long lost buddies who are staring at the elevator walls trying to remember the day we played football in the rain...? or we are just zombies who have been working so hard that we stand infront of elevators wishing and praying that it comes down...u never know...u seee..!!
bugger...!!
and picture this....
mumbai airport...the new delhi flight is ready...all lining up to the bus that shall carry them to the machine of tight haristyled women and emotionally poisoned food...! and there you see Aamir Khan...! note that he is not trying to hide him....so if one has been born in the last year...there is no way that you cant recognize him...
a gentleman...mid 40s...comes up to him...and goes...
"are you aamir khan?"
no sherlock...i am bappi lahiri and i have been gyming for the past 6 months. but the friggin gym was so expensive...(bipasha basu also comes there u see)...that i had to sell off all my gold and thus u see me now in a body tight tee...and jeans...and no gold..
this is worse than the pre-historic habit that has engulfed motherkind...of asking..."tum aa gaye" when she saw er son come back from work...
people...i tell u....
____________________________________
work has been crazy lately....but awesome fun. helping shape the future of media and entertainment in india...and its somehow orgasmic to sit back and think that the room you just stepped out of...after your discussion with the CEO...was witness to something that will change the entire landscape forever...
and u urself will get to witness it...
bliss...
____________________________________
lately i have been itching myself with a lot of b-plans. dont know when and how to take the plunge...cause at some level you know that inaction right now can be suicidal...someone else will surely pick up your idea...and there....gone....
any people who wanna fund me...?
~a
Monday, July 16, 2007
WTF...
this is it....ladies and gentlemen...this is it. mankind has finally found a negative IQ species....and like everything else....this too lies in India...
presenting...
the former human friggin development minister of india...
He viewed that sex education will transform student teacher relation into that of a man and a woman. “I think the government wants to import the western culture of sexual relation between student relation to India,” he said.
He said introduction of sex education was what multinationals did to create the desire for sex among teenagers to sell their products. “It is not sex education. It is education to sell condoms,” he alleged.
Catch the story...at your own risk...
and if this wasn't enough...we have UP teachers (crap...how did Bihar lose out!!)...crying out loud...
"The books on sex education supplied by the government should be promptly withdrawn," "If they fail to do so by July 21, we will be compelled to make a bonfire of these books in public." "We have decided to take this extreme step in the larger interest of both students and teachers," he added.
ummmm...whose interest....again...????
I have an idea...
why dont we get all the politicians together....
actually...you know what...
i give up....
~a
presenting...
the former human friggin development minister of india...
He viewed that sex education will transform student teacher relation into that of a man and a woman. “I think the government wants to import the western culture of sexual relation between student relation to India,” he said.
He said introduction of sex education was what multinationals did to create the desire for sex among teenagers to sell their products. “It is not sex education. It is education to sell condoms,” he alleged.
Catch the story...at your own risk...
and if this wasn't enough...we have UP teachers (crap...how did Bihar lose out!!)...crying out loud...
"The books on sex education supplied by the government should be promptly withdrawn," "If they fail to do so by July 21, we will be compelled to make a bonfire of these books in public." "We have decided to take this extreme step in the larger interest of both students and teachers," he added.
ummmm...whose interest....again...????
I have an idea...
why dont we get all the politicians together....
actually...you know what...
i give up....
~a
Sunday, July 15, 2007
education....crap...!!!!
am a disillusioned person lately...
i have always believed that education is the solution to a lot of problems facing the world today. ofcourse...arjun singh also believes so...but he takes the entire concept a little too far...! and yah...even with a world of only PhDs...we might still have bappi lahiri composing music...and going..."pyaar beeeena chaaaeeeennnn kahaan re....yaar beeenaa chaaaaeeeennn kahaan re..."
anyways..so yeah...education...everyone felt that...and so did i...and i didnt think i was wrong. typically you would have the educated class as the one who thinks the way humans shud...with a constant struggle to educate the society...and 'better' it even further...
and then...my hypothesis was tht people who fall into bad hands are the ones who are vulnerable...who are soft and weak..! imagine a dude...born into a poor family...for him struggle is his destiny...! he will hv to work a lot of things off...to get to a good level in society. some might succeed...many probably wont...
and then will come the easy way outs...the underworlds...the robbers...the petty thieves...the peddlers...
F***...NO....thats not true...!!
"...The first Indian national known to have participated in a suicide bombing outside the country..."
he is a friggin nuclear physicist....a friggin PhD...a product of cambridge university...who had everything working for him...! he had a family that cared for him...a country that respected him....foreigners who trusted and let him in...
and he is a terrorist today....
why dude....why....? what wasnt right...?
why...
~a
i have always believed that education is the solution to a lot of problems facing the world today. ofcourse...arjun singh also believes so...but he takes the entire concept a little too far...! and yah...even with a world of only PhDs...we might still have bappi lahiri composing music...and going..."pyaar beeeena chaaaeeeennnn kahaan re....yaar beeenaa chaaaaeeeennn kahaan re..."
anyways..so yeah...education...everyone felt that...and so did i...and i didnt think i was wrong. typically you would have the educated class as the one who thinks the way humans shud...with a constant struggle to educate the society...and 'better' it even further...
and then...my hypothesis was tht people who fall into bad hands are the ones who are vulnerable...who are soft and weak..! imagine a dude...born into a poor family...for him struggle is his destiny...! he will hv to work a lot of things off...to get to a good level in society. some might succeed...many probably wont...
and then will come the easy way outs...the underworlds...the robbers...the petty thieves...the peddlers...
F***...NO....thats not true...!!
"...The first Indian national known to have participated in a suicide bombing outside the country..."
he is a friggin nuclear physicist....a friggin PhD...a product of cambridge university...who had everything working for him...! he had a family that cared for him...a country that respected him....foreigners who trusted and let him in...
and he is a terrorist today....
why dude....why....? what wasnt right...?
why...
~a
Thursday, July 05, 2007
HuhCorp...and DuhCorp...
I submit....this is the best consulting firm ever...
www.huhcorp.com
___________________________
Livemint.com covered SecondShaadi.com yesterday. Nicely done.
http://www.livemint.com/2007/07/04154115/Paradise-Regained-Tying-the-k.html
___________________
~a
www.huhcorp.com
___________________________
Livemint.com covered SecondShaadi.com yesterday. Nicely done.
http://www.livemint.com/2007/07/04154115/Paradise-Regained-Tying-the-k.html
___________________
~a
Thursday, June 28, 2007
its an 'almost' adults blog...
so...its official...your eyes, as of this moment, are witnessing an above 17 blog..! if i hadnt used shit 21 times...or ass 8 times...or my fav word gay 5 times...or omg the friggin adult word slap 4 times...things would hv been very different...
this basically means that if my kids were to be gay...they would ofcourse use the word ass a lot...and will hv to be born 17 directly..!
CRAP..!!
____________________
SecondShaadi.com has generated a lot of press interest..! I had PK calling me frantically informing me of the Indian Express frontpage..! and a google search on SecondShaadi generates quite a few results..!
We are very close to 1,000 profiles now...23% of these are females..and only 15% of these are never married. Which basically proves that the site is automatically attracting the right audience...
BTW...did you know that India apparently has the lowest divorce rate in the world..at 1.1%
but we still believe that the idea will work...! it will...
__________________
am in manali this weekend...nowhere compared to mussoorie...! will post some snaps...
~a
this basically means that if my kids were to be gay...they would ofcourse use the word ass a lot...and will hv to be born 17 directly..!
CRAP..!!
____________________
SecondShaadi.com has generated a lot of press interest..! I had PK calling me frantically informing me of the Indian Express frontpage..! and a google search on SecondShaadi generates quite a few results..!
We are very close to 1,000 profiles now...23% of these are females..and only 15% of these are never married. Which basically proves that the site is automatically attracting the right audience...
BTW...did you know that India apparently has the lowest divorce rate in the world..at 1.1%
but we still believe that the idea will work...! it will...
__________________
am in manali this weekend...nowhere compared to mussoorie...! will post some snaps...
~a
Saturday, June 16, 2007
boss...mumbai mein ek hi airport hain...
8.30am
Friday
Mumbai Airport
tringgg tringgg...
hello
haanji sir...u hv reached
yes yes...where r u...?
at the exit itself...should i go and fetch the car...?
yah yah..plz do...where should i wait...
i will come where the laal peeli start
(figuring out where that is)...alright...i will wait...
After 10 mins
where are you boss...?
sir...right there...can you see the 2 media vans...right behind that...
boss...there are no media vans that i can see...where are you...?
sir...just where the passengers get out...am on the road...directly opposite...
i dont see you dude...ok...am standing right infront of the premium parking
ok..i have gone ahead of that...will come back after taking a round...
another 10 mins...
boss...its been 20 mins...where the f r u...?
sir...right there...premium parking...
yaar...either i am blind...or you dont know the airport well...are you at the jet arrival terminal
sir..i have been coming to the airport for the past 15 yrs...
you are at the domestic airport...rite...?
haan sir...are you at the right airport...
boss...mumbai mein ek hi airport hain...
MUMBAI...???? sir...i am in delhi...!!!!
WTF...!!!!
so...this friday morning...i spent 30 mins of my life trying to convince someone in delhi...that he is in mumbai...!
____________________________
but i give it to mumbai..! cant repeat it enough..but this was my first rendezvous with prime traffic in mumbai. it took me a mind numbing 2.25 hrs to reach the airport frm nariman point. a whole 2 hrs...! in the cab..! hands numb...mind zonked...life paralyzed..! i shudder to think the potential loss in national income that happens in the city cause of simply being on the road driving...when you could easily be working and far more productive than listening to radio mirchi and "pal pal pal frm munnabhai" for the godforsaken 586976th time..!
____________________________
VP and I finally launched our site. We have been working on the plan for the past 2 odd months...! its completely VP's baby and I am simply an external advisor devoting time towards the strategy of the product over and above my fulltime ATK committments. Its been a fantastic ride so far...and atleast for me last thursday, when the product was launched, was a special moment.
for VP though...having handled the complexity of www.desimartini.com already, this was jst another site..!
our business plan...a matrimonial site specifically targetted at remarriage.
www.secondshaadi.com
____________________________
my routine browsing this afternoon took me to this show called 'Britain's got talent'...and a certain Paul Potts. at the end of his performance...i was sobbing like a 5 yr old...jst couldnt contain myself. i hv figured that singing has a spiritual connectiong with me. ever since i went to the US...music has become my meditation. unfortunately...my voice can allow me to appreciate it vocally...but i remember when i spent simple hrs...jst listening to music with tears in my eyes...!
this was yet another instance...and totally deserved...(in my limited capacity)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDB9zwlXrB8
Life's really good right now...
~a
Friday
Mumbai Airport
tringgg tringgg...
hello
haanji sir...u hv reached
yes yes...where r u...?
at the exit itself...should i go and fetch the car...?
yah yah..plz do...where should i wait...
i will come where the laal peeli start
(figuring out where that is)...alright...i will wait...
After 10 mins
where are you boss...?
sir...right there...can you see the 2 media vans...right behind that...
boss...there are no media vans that i can see...where are you...?
sir...just where the passengers get out...am on the road...directly opposite...
i dont see you dude...ok...am standing right infront of the premium parking
ok..i have gone ahead of that...will come back after taking a round...
another 10 mins...
boss...its been 20 mins...where the f r u...?
sir...right there...premium parking...
yaar...either i am blind...or you dont know the airport well...are you at the jet arrival terminal
sir..i have been coming to the airport for the past 15 yrs...
you are at the domestic airport...rite...?
haan sir...are you at the right airport...
boss...mumbai mein ek hi airport hain...
MUMBAI...???? sir...i am in delhi...!!!!
WTF...!!!!
so...this friday morning...i spent 30 mins of my life trying to convince someone in delhi...that he is in mumbai...!
____________________________
but i give it to mumbai..! cant repeat it enough..but this was my first rendezvous with prime traffic in mumbai. it took me a mind numbing 2.25 hrs to reach the airport frm nariman point. a whole 2 hrs...! in the cab..! hands numb...mind zonked...life paralyzed..! i shudder to think the potential loss in national income that happens in the city cause of simply being on the road driving...when you could easily be working and far more productive than listening to radio mirchi and "pal pal pal frm munnabhai" for the godforsaken 586976th time..!
____________________________
VP and I finally launched our site. We have been working on the plan for the past 2 odd months...! its completely VP's baby and I am simply an external advisor devoting time towards the strategy of the product over and above my fulltime ATK committments. Its been a fantastic ride so far...and atleast for me last thursday, when the product was launched, was a special moment.
for VP though...having handled the complexity of www.desimartini.com already, this was jst another site..!
our business plan...a matrimonial site specifically targetted at remarriage.
www.secondshaadi.com
____________________________
my routine browsing this afternoon took me to this show called 'Britain's got talent'...and a certain Paul Potts. at the end of his performance...i was sobbing like a 5 yr old...jst couldnt contain myself. i hv figured that singing has a spiritual connectiong with me. ever since i went to the US...music has become my meditation. unfortunately...my voice can allow me to appreciate it vocally...but i remember when i spent simple hrs...jst listening to music with tears in my eyes...!
this was yet another instance...and totally deserved...(in my limited capacity)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDB9zwlXrB8
Life's really good right now...
~a
Monday, June 11, 2007
shootout at lokhandwala...
good acting....tight storyline...no time wasted in unnecessary details...not many songs...(can they please do with none!)...and if you ignore the sequence wherein sanjay dutt says no to the bullet-proof jacket when there are atleast 100 rounds being fired at that precise moment...the movie was overall quite good...
but the real question lingered...especially once i saw the parting comments...
but the real question lingered...especially once i saw the parting comments...
- crime in mumbai declined by 70% in the 2 yrs that the ATS (anti-terrorism squad) was in operation
- it was abolished in Jan 1993
- dec 1993 were the mumbai blasts...
the real question...is an encounter a preferred way of handling terrorists, even when you have caught them alive...precisely because their relationships with the 'decision makers' will ensure that they are out on the street the very next day....
personally...i am in favor of the theme...jackshit to human rights and jazz...! they didnt show any mercy when dealing with their business...and we will show none instead...
but am sure the arguments will challenge my chain of thought...let them come if you have any...
~a
Friday, June 08, 2007
crap...where did the month go....
no seriously...where did it jst go.
shit loads has happened in the last month...and each time i reached out the the laptop to blog about it...darn...forget it...how am i kiddin... i jst didnt feel like writing...thts it....! :)
____________________
Media and Entertainment totally sucked me in last month...work was awesome...and painful...long hrs...no social life...weekends jst went by trying to think of how i cud hv used them better....and weekdays jst didnt exist. as my Gtalk status once said..."its like pregnancy...lots of pain but you like what comes out in the end" (courtesy PM)
but tht was then. things changed last week....when we met the client...and he was like...superb...sold...very well done...why dont u start working on the vision now. think of something that has never been done before...
and we were like...WTF
now dont get me wrong...these vision-mission stuff are good...companies hv survived on them...and am sure bal thackeray had one too when he ordered his warriors to storm cafes in protest of orkut...! but after 6 weeks of high rigor...and market interviews and business modelling and what have yous...when one asks you to start thinking of vision...it sucks...
or in other words...the phase of 'intellectual masturbation'...begins...
____________________
was reading a newspaper article on the environment day. if the screw up that we humans indulge in isnt enough...the paper had conducted a survey...with some startling results...
witness this...
Q. A shower for 5 mins consumes more water than a bucket of water
a certain section of society (naming them cud hv a bal thackeray lookalike run after me...and i am too young to die!) had 55% replying yes. which is good...! however...45% said no...! whattttttt?????? half the population in that particular area thinks that a bucket of water and a 5 min shower are equal..?????
i really hope that their showers are the ancient ones...u know th sorts wherein some shit dirt particle has blocked all but one pore in the shower..!
there is more...
Q. Brushing your teeth with running water consumes less than a litre of water
55% yes...45% no...and you know what. THE SAME FRIGGIN SECTION...!! what retards live in this world that believe this shit...and screw not jst their life but the rest of the world's too....and then if the government says that we are raisin water bills...go on a violent bandh....kill some people...and continue to bloody brush under running water..
____________________
but then the government is not the best either...
a hate community on orkut gives some bastardos the right to barge into cafes and destroy private property. and if that wasnt enough...the government sets up a committee to decide whether orkut should be banned or not..
why dont we do something simple. create a separate world for them. i know of some reclamation experts...who can easily recreate land on water. there is lots of space in the arabian ocean. lets jst build a sweet sexy world...where guys and girls are never together...15th feb comes right after the 13th...there is no internet and thus no hat communities...and oh...a news channel that always talks of the indian cricket team winning...so as to keep them under control. now that would work..
____________________
and hey you guys...tell me something...whenever you apply for a competitie examination...do you call yourself 'general' category...? how are you sure..? can you show me a certificate proving that you are general...! if not...i suggest that you pick up the nearest kerosene tank...and burn your neighbour's cycle. control dude control...the bus will be next...but jst practise before...!
everyone is fighting for a community status dude...i think we should too..!
what...what...national damage...? social inconvenience..? death...? dude...what are you...a moron..??? jst call some news chanels later and ask for an apology. over..!
and hey...if any news channels attempt to cover your violence...dont feel ashamed..! smile right in the face of the camera...
there...now u deserve the general status...jai hind..!
____________________
strange thing happened today...was on my way back home talking merrily on the phone...when the traffic cop stopped me. now...i admit...my car is a traffic cop's dream come true. i always talk on the phone...(its a long story why i dont use a handsfree...but hey...am still a nice guy!)...hv dark tints...and play decently loud music.
and plus...i am an honest tax-paying citizen
so this guys stops me...and starts off...2K for cellphone...2K for tints and 1K for pollution certificate. am keeping ur RC...plz come and pay this at the traffic center within 15 days....
whooaaa....hold on mate...! so first...show me the fine sheet...tht states the amt...
he didnt hv tht...
ok...fine...i will trust u on the amt...and am ready to pay it right now. give me the receipt for tht and let go off my RC
no sir...cant do...u hv to pay at the center. we dont accept challans here. this is not haryana law. i will hv to keep ur RC.
give me the number of ur ACP traffic..will ask him abt this law.
dont hv...cant share...
show me ur ID card
haryana govt stopped issuing them in aug 2006...
which means that i too can wear the same shirt / trouser as urs and start collecting moolah...
what do u mean moolah...u think we are here to take a bribes something...
oh u r not...great...so either u take the entire challan right now and give me the receipt..or u jst get the big shit out of my car...
i wont...
fine...let me take you to the traffic headquarters there...we will discuss the matters there...
ok ok..leaving...but get these tints off in 2 days...
Conclusion:
1. Most of these guys...i was later told by a frnd...do not position themselves on the location they ought to be. which is why they dont have those challans books with them. So always ask for their ID...always ask for the challan...and plz use bribe as the last resort...not the preferred one..
2. I did commit a mistake...and i ought to have paid. but i didnt...! and i cudnt care less...because of the way he conducted himself...! dont if i am wrong here...comments invited...
____________________
went to naukuchiatal for the weekend...fantastic lake place 25 kms frm Nainital in North India. stayed in an awesome private cottage...and had a much needed break.
here are some snaps...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/warikoo/sets/72157600321509929/
____________________
will be back soon...surely within a month...
~a
shit loads has happened in the last month...and each time i reached out the the laptop to blog about it...darn...forget it...how am i kiddin... i jst didnt feel like writing...thts it....! :)
____________________
Media and Entertainment totally sucked me in last month...work was awesome...and painful...long hrs...no social life...weekends jst went by trying to think of how i cud hv used them better....and weekdays jst didnt exist. as my Gtalk status once said..."its like pregnancy...lots of pain but you like what comes out in the end" (courtesy PM)
but tht was then. things changed last week....when we met the client...and he was like...superb...sold...very well done...why dont u start working on the vision now. think of something that has never been done before...
and we were like...WTF
now dont get me wrong...these vision-mission stuff are good...companies hv survived on them...and am sure bal thackeray had one too when he ordered his warriors to storm cafes in protest of orkut...! but after 6 weeks of high rigor...and market interviews and business modelling and what have yous...when one asks you to start thinking of vision...it sucks...
or in other words...the phase of 'intellectual masturbation'...begins...
____________________
was reading a newspaper article on the environment day. if the screw up that we humans indulge in isnt enough...the paper had conducted a survey...with some startling results...
witness this...
Q. A shower for 5 mins consumes more water than a bucket of water
a certain section of society (naming them cud hv a bal thackeray lookalike run after me...and i am too young to die!) had 55% replying yes. which is good...! however...45% said no...! whattttttt?????? half the population in that particular area thinks that a bucket of water and a 5 min shower are equal..?????
i really hope that their showers are the ancient ones...u know th sorts wherein some shit dirt particle has blocked all but one pore in the shower..!
there is more...
Q. Brushing your teeth with running water consumes less than a litre of water
55% yes...45% no...and you know what. THE SAME FRIGGIN SECTION...!! what retards live in this world that believe this shit...and screw not jst their life but the rest of the world's too....and then if the government says that we are raisin water bills...go on a violent bandh....kill some people...and continue to bloody brush under running water..
____________________
but then the government is not the best either...
a hate community on orkut gives some bastardos the right to barge into cafes and destroy private property. and if that wasnt enough...the government sets up a committee to decide whether orkut should be banned or not..
why dont we do something simple. create a separate world for them. i know of some reclamation experts...who can easily recreate land on water. there is lots of space in the arabian ocean. lets jst build a sweet sexy world...where guys and girls are never together...15th feb comes right after the 13th...there is no internet and thus no hat communities...and oh...a news channel that always talks of the indian cricket team winning...so as to keep them under control. now that would work..
____________________
and hey you guys...tell me something...whenever you apply for a competitie examination...do you call yourself 'general' category...? how are you sure..? can you show me a certificate proving that you are general...! if not...i suggest that you pick up the nearest kerosene tank...and burn your neighbour's cycle. control dude control...the bus will be next...but jst practise before...!
everyone is fighting for a community status dude...i think we should too..!
what...what...national damage...? social inconvenience..? death...? dude...what are you...a moron..??? jst call some news chanels later and ask for an apology. over..!
and hey...if any news channels attempt to cover your violence...dont feel ashamed..! smile right in the face of the camera...
there...now u deserve the general status...jai hind..!
____________________
strange thing happened today...was on my way back home talking merrily on the phone...when the traffic cop stopped me. now...i admit...my car is a traffic cop's dream come true. i always talk on the phone...(its a long story why i dont use a handsfree...but hey...am still a nice guy!)...hv dark tints...and play decently loud music.
and plus...i am an honest tax-paying citizen
so this guys stops me...and starts off...2K for cellphone...2K for tints and 1K for pollution certificate. am keeping ur RC...plz come and pay this at the traffic center within 15 days....
whooaaa....hold on mate...! so first...show me the fine sheet...tht states the amt...
he didnt hv tht...
ok...fine...i will trust u on the amt...and am ready to pay it right now. give me the receipt for tht and let go off my RC
no sir...cant do...u hv to pay at the center. we dont accept challans here. this is not haryana law. i will hv to keep ur RC.
give me the number of ur ACP traffic..will ask him abt this law.
dont hv...cant share...
show me ur ID card
haryana govt stopped issuing them in aug 2006...
which means that i too can wear the same shirt / trouser as urs and start collecting moolah...
what do u mean moolah...u think we are here to take a bribes something...
oh u r not...great...so either u take the entire challan right now and give me the receipt..or u jst get the big shit out of my car...
i wont...
fine...let me take you to the traffic headquarters there...we will discuss the matters there...
ok ok..leaving...but get these tints off in 2 days...
Conclusion:
1. Most of these guys...i was later told by a frnd...do not position themselves on the location they ought to be. which is why they dont have those challans books with them. So always ask for their ID...always ask for the challan...and plz use bribe as the last resort...not the preferred one..
2. I did commit a mistake...and i ought to have paid. but i didnt...! and i cudnt care less...because of the way he conducted himself...! dont if i am wrong here...comments invited...
____________________
went to naukuchiatal for the weekend...fantastic lake place 25 kms frm Nainital in North India. stayed in an awesome private cottage...and had a much needed break.
here are some snaps...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/warikoo/sets/72157600321509929/
____________________
will be back soon...surely within a month...
~a
Saturday, May 05, 2007
spiderman...media and entertainment...and ofcourse..."yeh hai meri kahaani"
i remember this intense conversation PM and i were once having. actually all our conversations are typically intense...which start with me asking him what he does for a living...he cursing me to no end..then trying to explain...and then end with me asking him to marry me..!
so...abt this one conversation...he told me tht i sucked as a blogger. ofcourse this was his personal opinion and am sure that the 2 regular readers of this blog would defend me to no end..! he felt that my blog was inward looking....you know...the sorts which are like..."yeh hai meri kahaani"....i got up...and work is happening...and did i tell you of when i was 6...and then i fell in love...and oh i am getting married...etc etc...
he preferred the outward looking ones...the sorts tht spoke of world issues. ofcourse humor was almost sacsocant...and thus to be used in an honorable manner....i cudnt really understand what he meant when he spoke of humor and honor in the same breath. oh btw...what do u call a sardar who lives underwater...!! Jal-andar singh...!! HAH...! wait wait...there's more...what do you call a sardar who lives and breathes under water...! Jal-andar singh GILL...!! wasssuppppp...!!
yah so...i really dont know what he meant when he spoke of humor to be used in the 'right' fashion..
i agree with him though...abt the inward bit...i do...! which is when i told myself....alrite dude...lets not jst look at the world...(which i do almost to the point of being anal!)...lets hv an opinion abt it too...and let the world know of the opinion. ofcourse to make it humorous...i turned to anecdotal posts...! stories...of my mundane life...experienced by me...but never talking abt me...rather the experience..! it cud hv been anyone...
i admit..at times i had to think really hard to come up with these....which made me doubt the sheer intention of it. was to please someone...or to express myself. i didnt really know the answer...but loved doing it nevertheless...cause it was a form of expression nevertheless....!
and jst when i was on a roll...friggin work came in between. as of this precise moment...i am an i-banker when it comes to hours...and a consultant...when it comes to pay..! and a complete bastardo when it comes to blogging...
that my friends...was my brief explanation for the increasingly increasing duration between subsequent posts..! thank you...
___________________________________
just came back frm spiderman 3. its awesome. i mean...if the goblin wasnt enough...we had new goblin...who basically confused in life....is a loser as it is...and if tht wasnt enough the director decided to give him memory loss.
and then a superduper sand man...who basically cud be destroyed by water....yet somehow managed to cry...and am sure he did pee at times as well..!! imagine what you mst go thru when u know tht each time u pee...u r getting an inch closer to death. and god only help u if u had tht ugly burger on the beach tht evening...and went down with some loose motions the next morning.
so anyways...yeah...there was the sandman...! and then some freaky dude...who am sure was supposed to be an extra in the movie to begin with. but the director made the mistake of capturing him too many times in the 1st half....! he took advantage of tht and held the team to ransom..."give me a better role else i will not act in the 2nd half". ofcourse the character cudnt be jst killed (which btw wud hv made the movie a trifle easier on the head)...and he was afterall jst a crappy actor...so they made him a freaky villian. a monstor actually...! who cud be destroyed by the sound of church bells. ladies and gentlemen..the ramsey brothers have finally got their worth. finally a demon tht is scared of god-stuff...such as the om pendant..or the cross pendant...or the trishul...or simply the hanuman chalisa..!!
but the real villian was spriderman himself. he becomes greedy in the movie...u know...lalchi sorts..! suddenly loves all the admiration...so starts making guest appearances at road shows...! jst like priyanka gandhi...oops...vadra...!! (forgiveness my lord...oops lady)
its 2.45 hrs long....exactly a minute after death happens...to the audience...!
its a crappy movie...plz dont go..!! esp if u like spiderman...plz dont..!
____________________________________
am currently working in the media and entertainment sector...and its a friggin awesome place to be in. the industry is mindblowing...to say the least. there is so much of stuff happening...tht one cant even see on the surface...! fragmented to the core...unorganized to say the least...and has so much of potential. some awesome trivia...
> India has 13,000 movie screens. PVR...the largest integreted player...owns 70.
> Home Video and TV accounts for 75% of a movie revenue in the US. 7 friggin 5 %...!! no one there watches films in the theaters..! come to think of it...i went for a film show only once in 2 yrs..when i was there...! and i guess the only ones who go are desis..!
> The entire global movie industry is USD 92 bn. Walmart revenues last yr were 349 bn..!
> You know who owns ESPN. Walt disney..!!!
_____________________________________
life will take me to mumbai next....! jet airways...here i come...!! spidermannnnnnnnnnnnnnn
~a
so...abt this one conversation...he told me tht i sucked as a blogger. ofcourse this was his personal opinion and am sure that the 2 regular readers of this blog would defend me to no end..! he felt that my blog was inward looking....you know...the sorts which are like..."yeh hai meri kahaani"....i got up...and work is happening...and did i tell you of when i was 6...and then i fell in love...and oh i am getting married...etc etc...
he preferred the outward looking ones...the sorts tht spoke of world issues. ofcourse humor was almost sacsocant...and thus to be used in an honorable manner....i cudnt really understand what he meant when he spoke of humor and honor in the same breath. oh btw...what do u call a sardar who lives underwater...!! Jal-andar singh...!! HAH...! wait wait...there's more...what do you call a sardar who lives and breathes under water...! Jal-andar singh GILL...!! wasssuppppp...!!
yah so...i really dont know what he meant when he spoke of humor to be used in the 'right' fashion..
i agree with him though...abt the inward bit...i do...! which is when i told myself....alrite dude...lets not jst look at the world...(which i do almost to the point of being anal!)...lets hv an opinion abt it too...and let the world know of the opinion. ofcourse to make it humorous...i turned to anecdotal posts...! stories...of my mundane life...experienced by me...but never talking abt me...rather the experience..! it cud hv been anyone...
i admit..at times i had to think really hard to come up with these....which made me doubt the sheer intention of it. was to please someone...or to express myself. i didnt really know the answer...but loved doing it nevertheless...cause it was a form of expression nevertheless....!
and jst when i was on a roll...friggin work came in between. as of this precise moment...i am an i-banker when it comes to hours...and a consultant...when it comes to pay..! and a complete bastardo when it comes to blogging...
that my friends...was my brief explanation for the increasingly increasing duration between subsequent posts..! thank you...
___________________________________
just came back frm spiderman 3. its awesome. i mean...if the goblin wasnt enough...we had new goblin...who basically confused in life....is a loser as it is...and if tht wasnt enough the director decided to give him memory loss.
and then a superduper sand man...who basically cud be destroyed by water....yet somehow managed to cry...and am sure he did pee at times as well..!! imagine what you mst go thru when u know tht each time u pee...u r getting an inch closer to death. and god only help u if u had tht ugly burger on the beach tht evening...and went down with some loose motions the next morning.
so anyways...yeah...there was the sandman...! and then some freaky dude...who am sure was supposed to be an extra in the movie to begin with. but the director made the mistake of capturing him too many times in the 1st half....! he took advantage of tht and held the team to ransom..."give me a better role else i will not act in the 2nd half". ofcourse the character cudnt be jst killed (which btw wud hv made the movie a trifle easier on the head)...and he was afterall jst a crappy actor...so they made him a freaky villian. a monstor actually...! who cud be destroyed by the sound of church bells. ladies and gentlemen..the ramsey brothers have finally got their worth. finally a demon tht is scared of god-stuff...such as the om pendant..or the cross pendant...or the trishul...or simply the hanuman chalisa..!!
but the real villian was spriderman himself. he becomes greedy in the movie...u know...lalchi sorts..! suddenly loves all the admiration...so starts making guest appearances at road shows...! jst like priyanka gandhi...oops...vadra...!! (forgiveness my lord...oops lady)
its 2.45 hrs long....exactly a minute after death happens...to the audience...!
its a crappy movie...plz dont go..!! esp if u like spiderman...plz dont..!
____________________________________
am currently working in the media and entertainment sector...and its a friggin awesome place to be in. the industry is mindblowing...to say the least. there is so much of stuff happening...tht one cant even see on the surface...! fragmented to the core...unorganized to say the least...and has so much of potential. some awesome trivia...
> India has 13,000 movie screens. PVR...the largest integreted player...owns 70.
> Home Video and TV accounts for 75% of a movie revenue in the US. 7 friggin 5 %...!! no one there watches films in the theaters..! come to think of it...i went for a film show only once in 2 yrs..when i was there...! and i guess the only ones who go are desis..!
> The entire global movie industry is USD 92 bn. Walmart revenues last yr were 349 bn..!
> You know who owns ESPN. Walt disney..!!!
_____________________________________
life will take me to mumbai next....! jet airways...here i come...!! spidermannnnnnnnnnnnnnn
~a
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
to the class of 2008...wear...sunscreen....!
when DM was promoted to principal earlier this year i remeber him telling me...
"as a manager i got to know your batch closely...cause i was involved with the day-to-day activities of the engagement. however....yours will be the last batch i shall know directly. cause now...as a principal...i will be 'away'..."
that how i felt when the new batch of ISB came in...at some level i would always be away...
i do know some guys in the batch...and have a lot of expectations from them..more so since they happen to be from my high school...! but 4-5 in a batch of 430 doesnt shake a mountain...
anyways...
To the batch of 2008...(with a high probability that most will not even know of this site's existence!)
this year is going to be something you could have never imagined...
...a ride that will leave you exhausted...and craving for more...
...dont let go off it...at any time....
...and wear sunscreen...
~a
"as a manager i got to know your batch closely...cause i was involved with the day-to-day activities of the engagement. however....yours will be the last batch i shall know directly. cause now...as a principal...i will be 'away'..."
that how i felt when the new batch of ISB came in...at some level i would always be away...
i do know some guys in the batch...and have a lot of expectations from them..more so since they happen to be from my high school...! but 4-5 in a batch of 430 doesnt shake a mountain...
anyways...
To the batch of 2008...(with a high probability that most will not even know of this site's existence!)
this year is going to be something you could have never imagined...
...a ride that will leave you exhausted...and craving for more...
...dont let go off it...at any time....
...and wear sunscreen...
~a
Sunday, April 08, 2007
association...
i am a sucker for relationships...and i have always told my mum...never fret over anything that can be bought by money. always regret relationships that you havent worked on...
after almost a month...it is these emotions that compelled me to write. (un)fortunately...this wont be an anecdote...surely wont be amusing...so there...dont tell me tht i didnt warn...
the ISB current batch graduated yesterday. a sad feeling...because i know this will be the last batch that i will 'really' know..! and it was nostalgia for me. not just memories of my time...last year...and the sheer deluge of emotions that i faced..it was also the association that i had built with the batch ths year. i am sure i wud be known as the alum who was on campus every friggin month...(yes...i still work for ATK...yes...they still pay me!)
made some really lovely friends...got more respect than i deserved...but most importantly...never felt alien in the batch. i may not know everyone...but always felt home...! the people were all lovely...atleast infront of me..! and i felt at home also because i had spent one of the best years of my life at the very same place...
and then today received the CD for the play that the current batch had towards the end of the year, from SS. friggin hillarious stuff..! it was so awesome going back to those times...and its these times when you realize the imprint you have had...cause of your actions. in your head everything is all fine...cause it was you yourself who enacted the 'real' moments. but...as is always the case...people dont have it all figured..! and thus is created a multiple image profile of the same person....
maybe this multiple image profile allowed me to be different people to different set of individuals...
...maybe this was the basis of my association...
...not just this batch...but my own as well...
ISB Co2007
thanks for being you....i loved every bit of interacting with each one of you...and you shall remain as a special memory...
feeling very nostalgic today...missing the moments...! cause i know it wont be the same again...
life moves on...
~a
after almost a month...it is these emotions that compelled me to write. (un)fortunately...this wont be an anecdote...surely wont be amusing...so there...dont tell me tht i didnt warn...
the ISB current batch graduated yesterday. a sad feeling...because i know this will be the last batch that i will 'really' know..! and it was nostalgia for me. not just memories of my time...last year...and the sheer deluge of emotions that i faced..it was also the association that i had built with the batch ths year. i am sure i wud be known as the alum who was on campus every friggin month...(yes...i still work for ATK...yes...they still pay me!)
made some really lovely friends...got more respect than i deserved...but most importantly...never felt alien in the batch. i may not know everyone...but always felt home...! the people were all lovely...atleast infront of me..! and i felt at home also because i had spent one of the best years of my life at the very same place...
and then today received the CD for the play that the current batch had towards the end of the year, from SS. friggin hillarious stuff..! it was so awesome going back to those times...and its these times when you realize the imprint you have had...cause of your actions. in your head everything is all fine...cause it was you yourself who enacted the 'real' moments. but...as is always the case...people dont have it all figured..! and thus is created a multiple image profile of the same person....
maybe this multiple image profile allowed me to be different people to different set of individuals...
...maybe this was the basis of my association...
...not just this batch...but my own as well...
ISB Co2007
thanks for being you....i loved every bit of interacting with each one of you...and you shall remain as a special memory...
feeling very nostalgic today...missing the moments...! cause i know it wont be the same again...
life moves on...
~a
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
the good part about not bloggin for a while...is that you get a feel of your fan following...!
...1 girl reminded me that i used to blog...
...my viewership has dropped 50%...
...i received 37 (yes...thats friggin THIRTY SEVEN...) anonymous comments...in a single day...and some 150 in the past month..."great site you have here...btw check some lesbians babes...and hey...while you are at it...hv u heard of viagra and turkey as a tourist destination...??"
i am actively considering selling my blog to google...!
____________
so my client was narrating his india trip the other day. went to mumbai for some business meetings and the first day was pretty tight with multiple appointments. the flight arrives at 8.30am and its only an hr to the first meeting. so DB tells the driver..."boss...drive as fast as you can...its crucial for him to reach in the next 45 mins..."
now you know how indian drivers are....either they drive at 40 and not an inch more....or if told otherwise...they forget that cars are made of materials that can crush humans....! see...here is my point....dhanno from sholay was the only friggin horse in that scene. so wouldnt have bumped into another...and crashed....and lost a leg...and her tail for life..! but mumbai....DUDE...! you drive at 60 only if you are on top of another driving at that speed..!
anyways...so this driver pays ample attention to the instructions...and makes his way through the traffic...! lo behold...he does manage to reach in time...
client is happy...impressed..! he calls DB and goes..."this guy was fantastic....! he took me through all these shortcuts and small roads...and heck..there was traffic...but hey...he managed perfectly.."
DB is clueless..."shortcuts...?? small roads..??" he talks to the driver...khuspus khuspus...and then comes back to client....
"ummm...well...those are the mumbai main roads...!!"
i rest my case...! arguments plz..???
________________
Dubai is inshallah coming to an end....! been a terrific time...! jst finished with a great piece of work...and its amazing how much one learns about an industry one was clueless about...jst 8 weeks back..!
________________
clicked this on the Delhi Metro sometime back. Really neat way of reminding the consumer who you are...
http://flickr.com/photos/warikoo/419890417/
another click...though unrelated...
http://flickr.com/photos/warikoo/419890368/
________________
life's good...in all dimensions..!
~a
...1 girl reminded me that i used to blog...
...my viewership has dropped 50%...
...i received 37 (yes...thats friggin THIRTY SEVEN...) anonymous comments...in a single day...and some 150 in the past month..."great site you have here...btw check some lesbians babes...and hey...while you are at it...hv u heard of viagra and turkey as a tourist destination...??"
i am actively considering selling my blog to google...!
____________
so my client was narrating his india trip the other day. went to mumbai for some business meetings and the first day was pretty tight with multiple appointments. the flight arrives at 8.30am and its only an hr to the first meeting. so DB tells the driver..."boss...drive as fast as you can...its crucial for him to reach in the next 45 mins..."
now you know how indian drivers are....either they drive at 40 and not an inch more....or if told otherwise...they forget that cars are made of materials that can crush humans....! see...here is my point....dhanno from sholay was the only friggin horse in that scene. so wouldnt have bumped into another...and crashed....and lost a leg...and her tail for life..! but mumbai....DUDE...! you drive at 60 only if you are on top of another driving at that speed..!
anyways...so this driver pays ample attention to the instructions...and makes his way through the traffic...! lo behold...he does manage to reach in time...
client is happy...impressed..! he calls DB and goes..."this guy was fantastic....! he took me through all these shortcuts and small roads...and heck..there was traffic...but hey...he managed perfectly.."
DB is clueless..."shortcuts...?? small roads..??" he talks to the driver...khuspus khuspus...and then comes back to client....
"ummm...well...those are the mumbai main roads...!!"
i rest my case...! arguments plz..???
________________
Dubai is inshallah coming to an end....! been a terrific time...! jst finished with a great piece of work...and its amazing how much one learns about an industry one was clueless about...jst 8 weeks back..!
________________
clicked this on the Delhi Metro sometime back. Really neat way of reminding the consumer who you are...
http://flickr.com/photos/warikoo/419890417/
another click...though unrelated...
http://flickr.com/photos/warikoo/419890368/
________________
life's good...in all dimensions..!
~a
Monday, February 19, 2007
client situation #615
scheduled for 11am...we reached at 10.40 itself..! i would want to believe that whats i always do...if it wasnt for the cute secretary. its the smile that kills...always the friggin smile....
and then...when the dude has worked for some 18 odd years...why do they develop such a high respect for time. i mean..if the meeting is scheduled for 11...and 2 young consultants are having a happy chat with your secretary..why the hell do u have to come out of your cabin at sharp 11..!!
anyways...so whatever...! 18 yrs of experience...senior guy...! we got his time after multiple visits to the office...and it was only 30 mins. had the make the most of it.
so we start....and he is answering. the setting is quite corporat-ish..! you know...the table that can contain half the earth on it...and there is one old dude on its north. and 2 black-suited morons at its south. if both of us were to lie down and i were to hold on to his feet...we wud still need another body to reach the gentleman.
and whats with these chairs??? who do we hv to sink...and take 'comfortable chairs' to an all new level. not to mention tht the arm rest will rise up to half your thigh...! so u friggin need a forearm of shaq 'o neil's height..!
10 minutes into the interview...! the answers r stunning....i mean...experience oozing out..!! fantastic perspective.
beep...
its his phone...
he starts off infront of us itself. goes on and on..in some god damn vernacular. i cant figure shit...so am jst thinking of what next to ask. the interview seems too high a priority to spend time concentrating on something tht wud take an eternity for me to crack..!
"sorry gentleman..had to take this call..! please...lets continue"
the next 15 minutes flow smooth. good questions...equally brilliant answers...!
"thank you Mr X for your time. We really appreciate this"
"oh no...not a problem at all. I hope I was of help...! some tea?"
"So where are you guys from..?"
"OH i am fromt Delhi. stayed all my life there."
"and you...?"
"I am from kerela.."
now...not that i want to...but i have never seen a person die of shock. i hv seen some bit of it in the movies..but thats all abt it. and i am told that the person freezes...! i mean...he jst becomes a statue.
yeah...on second thoughts...i did maybe see someone die of shock tht day...
"Kerela...??? So you can speak malayam...???"
"yes...i can..."
"OH I AM SO SORRY....I AM SO SO SORRY...I DIDNT MEAN IT...I REALLY AM. I JUST DIDNT MEAN IT...I AM...OH NO...GOD...SORRY...REALLY SORRY..."
"its ok...ok..not a problem at all.."
i am perplxed..!! what in friggin world i happenin. why is tht dude atleast 3 bodies away from us apologizing. and why is this super stud friend of mine acting as if he is jesus...out to forgive the world..! I have no friggin idea...i mean...NO IDEA....FRIGGIN..!!
we step out...and i am like....DUDE...WHAT JUST HAPPENED..??? WHY WAS HE ACTING LIKE THAT...
"remember the call...! he was speaking in malayalam. with someone frm home...i am guessing..."
"...and...???"
"...well....if i recollect correctly he said....these 2 f****** r wasting my time right now...moronic questions...thinking they r too smart..! I will make sure Srini doent grow up to become up...! friggin useless bunch of expensive furniture..."
___________________________________
ISB recruitments in full swing. had gone down this weekend...to a fanstastic time. took 5 super studs...great bunch of people. the tension on campus was scary...! all i could do was go back in history and laugh at my state back then. it all seems so miniscule...so irrelevant...now...
great learning...
~a
PS: OK...alright...this wasnt me...! A colleague..!! But heck...story writing is fun..! :)
and then...when the dude has worked for some 18 odd years...why do they develop such a high respect for time. i mean..if the meeting is scheduled for 11...and 2 young consultants are having a happy chat with your secretary..why the hell do u have to come out of your cabin at sharp 11..!!
anyways...so whatever...! 18 yrs of experience...senior guy...! we got his time after multiple visits to the office...and it was only 30 mins. had the make the most of it.
so we start....and he is answering. the setting is quite corporat-ish..! you know...the table that can contain half the earth on it...and there is one old dude on its north. and 2 black-suited morons at its south. if both of us were to lie down and i were to hold on to his feet...we wud still need another body to reach the gentleman.
and whats with these chairs??? who do we hv to sink...and take 'comfortable chairs' to an all new level. not to mention tht the arm rest will rise up to half your thigh...! so u friggin need a forearm of shaq 'o neil's height..!
10 minutes into the interview...! the answers r stunning....i mean...experience oozing out..!! fantastic perspective.
beep...
its his phone...
he starts off infront of us itself. goes on and on..in some god damn vernacular. i cant figure shit...so am jst thinking of what next to ask. the interview seems too high a priority to spend time concentrating on something tht wud take an eternity for me to crack..!
"sorry gentleman..had to take this call..! please...lets continue"
the next 15 minutes flow smooth. good questions...equally brilliant answers...!
"thank you Mr X for your time. We really appreciate this"
"oh no...not a problem at all. I hope I was of help...! some tea?"
"So where are you guys from..?"
"OH i am fromt Delhi. stayed all my life there."
"and you...?"
"I am from kerela.."
now...not that i want to...but i have never seen a person die of shock. i hv seen some bit of it in the movies..but thats all abt it. and i am told that the person freezes...! i mean...he jst becomes a statue.
yeah...on second thoughts...i did maybe see someone die of shock tht day...
"Kerela...??? So you can speak malayam...???"
"yes...i can..."
"OH I AM SO SORRY....I AM SO SO SORRY...I DIDNT MEAN IT...I REALLY AM. I JUST DIDNT MEAN IT...I AM...OH NO...GOD...SORRY...REALLY SORRY..."
"its ok...ok..not a problem at all.."
i am perplxed..!! what in friggin world i happenin. why is tht dude atleast 3 bodies away from us apologizing. and why is this super stud friend of mine acting as if he is jesus...out to forgive the world..! I have no friggin idea...i mean...NO IDEA....FRIGGIN..!!
we step out...and i am like....DUDE...WHAT JUST HAPPENED..??? WHY WAS HE ACTING LIKE THAT...
"remember the call...! he was speaking in malayalam. with someone frm home...i am guessing..."
"...and...???"
"...well....if i recollect correctly he said....these 2 f****** r wasting my time right now...moronic questions...thinking they r too smart..! I will make sure Srini doent grow up to become up...! friggin useless bunch of expensive furniture..."
___________________________________
ISB recruitments in full swing. had gone down this weekend...to a fanstastic time. took 5 super studs...great bunch of people. the tension on campus was scary...! all i could do was go back in history and laugh at my state back then. it all seems so miniscule...so irrelevant...now...
great learning...
~a
PS: OK...alright...this wasnt me...! A colleague..!! But heck...story writing is fun..! :)
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