Saturday, July 29, 2006

...nightmares....and spreadhseets...

last week was my first touch with work pressure...and i mean pressure thts worse than a guy who hasnt shat for 7 months...!!

am working on a model. a project feasibility model. we wanna see if the project tht we abt to undertake makes business sense for us...and if it doesnt, then how can we ensure that it does. so basically...whatever happens...we will do the project...!! we jst hv to show tht it will work as well...

as wud be obvious...any such feasibility model....will hv its dose of P&L statements, balance sheets, cash flow statements...and the works.

now anyone...who has ever come in close contact with me...including the one i passed while coming out of the elevator this morning...knows tht my sole purpose in this world is a 3-step process...

Step 1
find out who was the guy who made the 1st balance sheet in the world...! the P&L statement or the cash flow statement 'inventors' will also do...

Step 2
find out if he is still alive...! chances r tht he is not...!

Step 3
find out who are his living descendents. and then aka 'the da vinci code'....bloody launch the worst ever cult group to wipe tht entire race. in the process...also attempt to remove all possible traces of accounting in this world...and alongwith them...the god damn accountants...!!!!


which...translated in english language....means...tht i hate...i mean...ohhhhh soooo muuuchhhh....HATE...acounts...! it was my first B-grade at ISB...and if it wasnt for AP, GC, AG and the likes...i wud hv sunk without a trace...!!!

so...it was torture...all the way...and its not funny when u come up with your version of the model...and are told..."uuuummmmmm....cash balance...can never be negative....but good try...DODO..."

it was so bad...tht the past 4 days hv been the following:

- dreaming...no no...nightmaring...about the spreadsheet....! nightmares about my life being a bloody balance sheet wherein my weight is adding on....to the liabilities side...! cash flow statement...and what the F is capitalization...

- sitting in the loo...ostensibly shitting...for 45 mins...with my ISB accounting book...!

- at the shop, after realizing tht i am out of monies...asking R.."tere paas cash flow hai...????"


the model is done...and i think...its comes out well...! thank god...

~a

PS:
  1. for all those concerned...i think its almost a proven fact now that consulting is possibly the only field which required you to hv paid attention during your MBA. possibly speaks for the reason why they always look for the toppers...!
  2. AD topped the marketing course at ISB. which speaks for the fact that he hasnt been studying...cause it wont hv happened if he did...! :)

8 comments:

educatedunemployed said...

Hehehe..
I am sure it isn't funny, but I can't help it.You make it sound so..:)

Kapil said...

dude u scarin the big jesus out of me...world wud b a bttr place w/o spreadsheets ...
me contemplatin the feasability of a consulting career :(
am happy wrkin on PPT's discussin 'Circles of life' and 'Perception'

ankur said...

MG:
IT WASNT FUNNY...!!!

Kapil:
dude...its fun...believe me...!!

~a

Anonymous said...

who's AD and is AG dunkee?
And you should really call back after people call you back. 2 weeks in a row we've missed each others calls.

ankur said...

AD is AD...u know him...try hard...!!

and yup...AG is dunkee...

and dude...i hv been trying ur number for some 48 hrs now. will call u again tonight...so u call me back. colaco will be there too...

ela1ne1 said...

come to me for accounting tuitions

ankur said...

Bubbly:
thanks a lot. damn...why didnt i think of u earlier..

Anonymous said...

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