Tuesday, November 14, 2006

"...we hv to do it..."

so this is a real life incident. happened to me last thrusday on my flight back to india...

every indian on this planet..and every traveler to India as well...can relate to one sight. queues. friggin queues. everywhere..! we indians r so used to jst placing ourselves confortably in a line...and jst live the rest of our lives trying to reach the 'counter'.

so it was one of those queues again...that got me introduced to her. i was boarding the flight...with my boarding pass in hand...(and mind u...even if u hv bloody boarded a plane more times than u have pissed in yur life...the hostess will definitely ask u for your boarding pass and direct you to your seat...as if you are the biggest moron who couldnt have figured by himself..! anyways...)

so there is this huge line leading to the miserly economy class...(reminds me of a seinfeld joke...he was talking abt the way the hostesses draw the curtain between the economy and business class...saying with their eyes..."if only you had worked harder")...and its dragging along...till the time i reach right at the entrance. and its been some 2 minutes at the same....the line is jst not moving.

"oohh...discovery channel..thats my fav"..!

a rather stunning airhostess...(who btw i had conveniently avoided mentioning so far...)...standing at the right side...! her repsonse is to the discovery logo on my tee...which R had given sometime back (quite cool stuff these discovery guys make..!).

"aaaah...thts nice..! infact..we 'at discovery' have a hidden vision. that everyone in this worls feel exacly what you feel"

there were artificial hehe-huhuh laughter...before the line finally moved on..!!

now..if u hvnt figured by now...i said "we at dicovery"..which in the english language means that i lied. about the fact that i work at discovery. now dont get me wrong here...i am quite proud to be a consultant...i think they r the best invention by mankind..after the safety pin ofcourse...! but something within me...made me lie..

and wait..there is more...

so i seat myself...and put the "do not disturb...even if the friggin plane is going down and i dont have my for gods sake seat belt on" tag on my seat...and as i am about to close my eyes...she comes in again...

"hot towels please"

sleep's gone..! am with discovery again...

"so what do you do for discovery"...she asks...while holding the towel for the passenger to me left (i was aisle)...and given who was sitting on tht seat...i am sure he felt it was some sort of hypnotic towel..meant to soothen the body during the flight...cause he jst didnt move his eyes off it.

"ummm...i work as a photographer for them"

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...cold blooded lie...how cud u...!!

"wow...thats awesome...! here in dubai"

"nope..in their delhi office. had come to dubai to cover the desert safari for a brochure we are working on.."

if only my thought process was as fast when needed

"thats quite interesting. please let me know if you need anything. i promise not to disturb you though...even if the friggin plane is going down and i dont have my for gods sake seat belt on

yes yes yes...she reads my mind...i can so totally see it...!! wuuuhuuuuuuu

so...rest of the flight was quite good...slept a decent bit..and each time i woke up..i saw her fanning me with a magazine...smiling sweetly at me as if so totally admiring me..! ok...i am lying here...cmon...u cudnt hv believed me now..!!

but yeah...i didnt see her at all till the flight landed...

at the entrance...she was there...with her..."thnks...bye bye now"...and i went...wtf man...let it go...

"ummm...btw i was lying...! i dont work for discovery. my fiance does. she gave me this tee"

"hahaha..!! u serious...??? well...btw...discovery is not my fav channel either..."

WTF...!!!

"...u see...its our job...we have to do it..."

:)

~a

15 comments:

Chiranth Channappa said...

Umm.. why is the safety pin mankind's best invention?
I thought it'd be fire, or maybe the recipe for tandoori chicken.

Pratik said...

Chi - it holds the most imp things in place in an emergency. Unless ofcourse someone has an awesome smile to divert the attention away from safety-pin-demanding-malfunction ;)

Warikoo - not for the last time, you so totally deserved that! BTW, did you get the number??? And how do you like em apples ;)

Anonymous said...

Hahahahhahahahahha...

~PSS

ankur said...

chiranth:
bad bad question. no doughnut for you..!

pratik:
good good answer.

PSS:
abbe..kya has raha hai..!!? :)

Di said...

ROFL...o my god!! that was excellent..i'd have paid to c the climax real time.. ;)

ankur said...

di:
well...you will hv your chance dude. am trying to get this made into a movie. karan johar has been roped in..!!

Unknown said...

that was fun!

Anonymous said...

Man how can you lie that much... If you did so much atleast you should have taken her number and passed on to the group... After all what are friends for?

Anonymous said...

LOL... conclusion: after consultant its GOTTO be air hostess.. :D .. Who knows she might be thinking the same way... LOL...

ankur said...

spew:
thanks dude

Anon:
dude...u didnt pay attention during the competitive advantage classes..!! if i had the number..why the hell wud i gv it to a grp..!!

nissim
oh i wish...pray pray..!!

Ford Prefect said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ford Prefect said...

Dude ... Air Hostesses are perfectly legitimate subjects to hit on ... I think you should be proud of your efforts... Next time tell her you work for Loreal and normally have lots of free samples ..

ankur said...

FP:
Oh u bet i am...totally..!! will hv to wait for another one...to drop the loreal bit..!! but thanks dude...if it wasnt for friends such as u...

Kiran said...

Why is it that everyone else has an interesting "Air Hostess" experience, while I don't get even that extra glass of orange juice from the damn attendants? I guess its got something to do with that "Udaya TV" t-shirt that I wear on most flights :)
Guess I have to make friends in the right channels, if you know what I mean :)
Hilarious stuff dude!
-Kiran

ankur said...

Kiran:
dude...udaya...???? what were u thinking...???? :)